Wild Salmon Patty Sliders (from a can)

I have two warring voices in my head right now. One is screaming, “Just SHUT UP and tell them about the Salmon Patties, it doesn’t matter, nobody cares how you feel, they just want the FOOD. Give them the FOOD!” The other is telling me to apologize. For being away so long. For not writing and telling you I was swamped. And for coming on every year or so to say, “I’ll be writing more”, when I’m not. Oh wait. Another voice is coming through. #3 says, “Stop apologizing. Everyone knows Read more […]

Review: AYO Almondmilk Yogurt

FACT. I lurv Almondmilk. Almond-Coconut Blend to be exact. Also Fact. I lurv just plain old almondmilk and plain old coconutmilk and plain old cow milk too. Along with pickled pigs feet, chicken AND beef liver . . .and let’s not forget tripes, as in stomach lining. I’m telling you this, as you have probably surmised, that my palette is welcoming to many different flavors and textures. But ufff. Coconutmilk yogurt not so much. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. It just doesn’t Read more […]

Cranberry, Candied Pecans, Bacon and Blue cheese on Baby Spring Greens and what the heck am I saying anyway?

I stepped on the scale this morning and I weighed 183 glorious pounds. “Not bad,”  I told myself as I stepped off the glass scale and wiped the panicked beads of sweat from my brow. 3 weeks ago, I gained 3 pounds. . .putting me at a whopping 186 pounds. . .which was 4 pounds heavier than I was on June 1. So it was an odd revelation (considering I’ve practically set up shop at McDonald’s ordering Stroopwafel McFlurries by the gallon for the last 5 days because I thought the Worldwide Favorites Read more […]

Asian Chili Lime Vinagrette

6:43 am: Roll over. Feet out of the bed, feel around for slippers on the floor. Glasses on face. Walk over to bedroom door, pull open. One foot in front of the other, walk to living room. Begin picking up blankets, pillows, and various accroutements that are thrown half hazardly around the house. 7:24 am: Laundry room now. Picking up crap off the floor. And by crap I mean clothes that may have once (in the recent past) been clean, but somehow ended up on the floor rather than a hanger or the laundry Read more […]

Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream Smoothie Bowl

“Excuse me, you’re going to what?” I said, slightly stunned with tears welling up in my eyes. “I’M. GOING. TO. MOW. THE. LAWN. THEN LEAVE THE GRASS CLIPPINGS ON THE LAWN.” He said it very slowly in an elevated pitch, as if my ears weren’t grabbing at the words that were coming out of his mouth. I swallow hard. My mind is racing. Don’t yell. Don’t yell. You’ll only alienate him. Be calm. Speak slowly and meaningful. Explain to him that he can’t. “We worked so hard on the yard Read more […]

Low Carb Apple Cinnamon Coffee Cake

Apple Cinnamon Coffee Cake My mom recently decided she was going to throw caution to the wind, pack up her bags and go on a trip to Europe. In all my realities (and there are many)  my mom is this celestial chic being. Lover of travel, fashion, art, hearth, home, crafting, hippie-ing(is that a word?). Tho’ I don’t tell her often enough, she is EVERYTHING I want to be. She listens when my kids talk to her. She always, always, ALWAYS has on a cute outfit. She’s as smart as a whip. Not a problem Read more […]

Starbucks “Lower” Carb Green Tea Latte

I need a mad face emoji, stat. 🙁 That’s a sad face. I’m definitely feeling MAD. As in FIERY. FUMING. FIERCELY FEROCIOUS. Let me see if I can google an emoji like that. *taps on keyboard furiously* Too hard to do, in my mangled mental state. 3:45 am: Just had a nightmare, consoled myself through Instagram confessions, called husband (he worked overtime through the night), tried to go back to sleep, trolled the web, started to fall back asleep again, until you know who arrived home Read more […]

Low Carb Meal! Garlic Honey Chicken with Buttery Zucchini Noodles

Forgive me while I gush a bit.

And give myself a firm lashing.

My 12 year old has been begging to make dinner for the last week. “Mommy, can I please make a Keto Dinner Tonight?” And always with a firm, roll of the eye, I say “Umm. . .I don’t know.” And then I go on my merry way.

Fancy Spring Mix Salad with Candied Pecans and Balsamic Vinaigrette

This is the THIRD time I’ve written this post. I’m going to spare you the gory details, but the first couple of times were a bit boring and depressing. Something about being fat and tired comes to mind. And if I remember correctly, I think there was a bit about feeling sick and gross and tired.   I walked away from my screen, because I was boring myself while I was getting ready to wear you down with dullness. When I returned a few hours later, I saw this glorious picture Read more […]

Phoebe’s “Favorite” Pineapple – Mango Banana Smoothie

6:11 am. Kitchen.  Me with hair, slightly wild, completely afro, oddly amazing. Eyes tired, holey t-shirt with pajama shorts on. Mild chaos of crumbs strewn about the floor making a not so subtle beach of cheese crackers and tortilla chips. Dishes in the sink from 2 days before. Smoothie acroutements on the counter. Frozen mango, pineapple juice, banana, yogurt.  I’m making a smoothie for my littlest, because she only eats skittles and goldfish crackers. A Pineapple-Mango Smoothie to Read more […]