My mom is here.
In my house. Upstairs. In the guest bedroom. Sleeping.

Because she’s tired.
And exhausted.
Of me.
And my four straight up, a mess children.

“Well. . . .”
she says. . . .
“Everyone has been behaving well. . . .”
But Jesus . . . . .Lord Jesus (I’m actually praying here)
I know THAT IS NOT what she is really thinking.

One kid,
Lord help us all, won’t stop asking for food, which is very disturbing to my mother. “Why is she sooo hungry ALL THE TIME?” ‘Maybe she’s bored”, she’ll say. “Maybe she is feeling. . . .ummm like a third child.” Code  for alone, unappreciated, not heard, SCREAMING for attention.  Its not helping that, that same child had a growth spurt recently. . . .around her girth.  . .and NONE of her clothes fit. . .and so now my mother thinks I’m loving her with food.

Which I could be.
I don’t know.
I’m tired. And confused
I have four kids.

And then there is the tone of MY voice. And the volume of MY voice. . .she says its TOO LOUD.
‘Calm down‘ she says.
‘Lower your voice‘ she says.
“Its no wonder why its so loud in this house and everyone is always yelling, because YOU are always yelling.” she says.
And this really pisses me off.
Seriously pisses me off.
Because its true.
I need to shut the mess up. And calm the mess down.

And yesterday. . .. in the midst of her 6 day vacation to my house of horrors.  . .I took her bra shopping for an un-named grandkid.  It was horrible. Lots of crying, screaming, and eye rolling from all parties concerned.

And I. . . . .
I sat back on the bench and let her do all the dirty work. She tugged, she prodded, adjusted and argued with the child, and then kissed the child. My eyes filled with tears because it was all so overwhelming. So hard. . .too hard. But not my mom.  She just marched on. Doing what needed to be done. Soothing the child. Telling her she knew it wasn’t fun, but that it would be over soon.  The child sucked in her tears and agreed. I however, continued to mope on the dressing room bench.

She looked over at me, and said I was just like this as a child. What goes around. . . .comes around.
I say. . . .
I wonder what type of child she was.

Anyway, It hasn’t been such a great trip for my mom.
But it has made a world of diference to me.
Having her here.
Telling me all the horrible things I don’t want to hear.
The stuff I must acknowlegde if I’m going to be better and do better.
Helping me through the madness of my life.

I hope.
Dare I dream. . . . .
that one day I’ll be as good as her.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Yup.
My mom.
She tells me the pretty with the not so pretty.
Never really sugar coating it.
I’m sure she’s learned over the years, its better that way.

If she were looking for a snack for my kids, and she stumbed upon these yummy crackers she’d say .. .

Look Children!
What a lovely snack I have for you!
It’s New and its all Natural!
It has vegetables in it! Carrots! Spinach!  And lots of vitamins like D, Calcium and Iron!!!!

And then they would look at her like she was crazy.

But me on the otherhand. . . .
I’m just going to hand over these crackers when they are fighting, yelling, and starving. . .which is all the time.
I’m gonna give them these little individual snacks, and ask them which flavor. . .Pizza, Cheddar, Cornbread, or Ranch?
And they will take them and stuff them in their faces like the little brown cookie monsters they are.

And then. . . .
I will tell them . . . These are good for you.
And they will smile at me and think. . .
Now that is the type of parenting we are used too.

These Funley’s Crackers are new to HEB (my Go TO grocer).  Super yummy and only 90 calories.

Wanna hear what my kids are saying about them?

Bella (9) – Geez. The pizza one really tastes like pizza. Is that basil I smell?

Soledad (7) – OMG. That has spinach in it? Huh. I think I like it anyway.

Phoebe (4) – Give it to me.

Shelbi (12) – *walks into kitchen and rolls her eyes. grabs snack, eats ALL OF IT and leave crumbs on counter*

No preservatives.
No Trans Fats.
NO High Fructose Corn Syrup.
No artificial anything!

For all humans with mouths.
Good. We qualify.
You probably do too.

Disclaimer: I love HEB but was not paid by them to say so. I also love Funley’s Super Crackers, and again was not paid to say so. BUT they did give me samples to try to see if I would like them, and I loved them, so it worked out well on both ends if I do say so myself. And I will. Because I just did.