Gigantic Banana Split Sundae and Heaven Help Me by George Michael

“Heaven help me, heaven help me.
Talk to strangers, talk to strangers.
Heaven help me.
Over you.
Help me over you.
I can’t seem to take these changes.
Everything reminds my heart of you.”

These lyrics keep going through my mind, on repeat.
Over and over again.

Don’t worry, Mr. Woo isn’t leaving me.
This one is.

Yesterday, she started kindergarten.
Not a tear was shed. Not a mommy, “Don’t go.” She just walked with determination. With a mission in mind. Forward. Onward. Without looking back.

She did give me a side hug, and a pat on the back. “Okay, you guys can go now. I’m gonna be here a long, long, long, time. But don’t cry, okay? I’ll be doin’ my work an I’ll see you after school.”

“Ummm. Okay? Love you. Can I have a kiss? See ya later?” It all stumbles out of my mouth. What I really want to say is “Aren’t you going to miss me even a little bit? Don’t you kinda wish you were coming home with me? Do you realize you will NEVER stay home with me AGAIN unless you’re barfing or pooing too much? I think we should stop and grieve just a little, like that nice little girl over there who is glued to her mothers ankle.

But I didn’t say that. I doubt I could have cajoled her into crying anyway. That kid is as tough as nails. So instead, I smiled for my complimentary picture that the teacher took, and took home with me the other two people in my life who still want to be around me.

Please pay no attention to my “hunch standing” OR to my chipmunk cheek odd facial expression. Instead, please focus your attention on the kindergartner who is fleeing from my bosom and the cute toddler who is shooting daggers at the camera. Thank you.

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In other school news, Bella had a great day too. My good natured, always optimistic, nature loving, well-behaved child, had a fantastic day. No surprise there. Her best friend is in her class, and her world for the the most part is perfect.

Shelbi was also excited to start 5th grade. But totally grumpy that Soledad was excited too, because she was talking too much. I was instructed not to take any pictures, talk to her, or to anyone else. Bella, my second grader, told me not to worry she thinks Shelbi has “the nerves.” I think she may have been right.

Did I take pictures? Well, not really. I only took pictures when she wasn’t looking and let her father take the rest.

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When Shelbi started kindergarten, she cried for 14 days straight. Without relenting once. It was horrible. We bribed her with everything imaginable. Even her grandparents paid her money for everyday she agreed to go to school without kicking and screaming.

So, we enacted the Woodard “Night before the First Day of School Family Tradition” Which is to eat a giant Ice Cream Sundae.

It worked well. That night.
But, she continued her crying the next day, and for 21 days after that.

But the tradition had begun, and we have followed it every year since. Here’s the recipe, but. . .I have a sneaky suspicion you already know how to make one.

Giant Banana Split Ice Cream Sundae


1 banana
1 gallon of Homemade Vanilla Ice cream
Hot Fudge
Strawberry Syrup
Caramel Sauce
Honey Roasted Peanuts
Whipped Cream
Cookie Crumbles
Maraschino Cherries


1. Cut up banana. Place banana pieces at the bottom of a very large bowl.
2. Place 10 large scoops of ice cream on top.
3. Drizzle with strawberry syrup, caramel sauce, and hot fudge.
4. Sprinkle with nuts cookie crumbles and multi-colored sprinkles.
5. Top with whipped cream and cherries. Hurry up and start shoveling it in.

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