I’m upstairs in Phoebe’s room putting away clothes. I can peer over my left shoulder and see the headlights pulling around the corner and into the driveway. I hear the garage go up, and the car pull in. . .and then HONKING! HONKING! HONKING!
I wait for the BLARING to stop.
And it does for about two seconds, and then it repeats.
HE IS LAYING ON THE HORN.
If you were me, and you were married to HIM. . .you would know EXACTLY why he was laying on the horn and being completely obnoxious.
It was because I put the ice chest in the garage, next to the wall (which prevents him from getting out of the truck once he’s pulled into the garage.)
But, you must ask yourself this . . . .Why would I put the ice chest in such an inconvenient location? Could it be because it was sitting in the foyer for 6 days without being put up correctly in the garage? And could it be because I have repeatedly asked HIM to put it away, to no avail? Yes. It could. And it was. Good thinking.
And so, because I have matured as a human being, I sent my 13-year-old downstairs to find out what the mess was wrong with her father. Because no good would have come of me confronting him at that point in time.
And then when he came inside, I ignored him for exactly 9 minutes.
On the 10th minute I asked him, “Why in the world were you laying on your horn like the devil himself was after you?”
“Oh. That.” he says, all coolly. “I couldn’t get out of the car. The ice chest was in the way.”
“You act like haven’t graduated from pre-school, let alone from college. Well. . .Warwick, next time, pull the CAR OUT OF THE GARAGE. GET OUT, AND REMOVE THE OFFENDING ICE CHEST. PUT IT AWAY, AND THEN PULL THE CAR RIGHT BACK IN.”
“Huh. I don’t understand.”
“Whatever. I’m just saying, if you snap your fingers, ie. BLOW THE MESS OUT OF THE HORN, you’re never going to get me to listen. Or do what you’d like. I find it offensive.”
“Huh. I don’t understand.”
“DON’T BLOW THE HORN AT ME!”
“You. Bad. Stop. Being. Jerk.”
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
I don’t even know why I bother.
You know that saying, that people come into your life to teach you something. . .well. . .I know what he’s teaching me. . .how to be assertive, follow my own mind. . . .while still trying not to be a crazy person, and learning how not to let other people affect my mood.
It’s been 14 or 15 years that we’ve been married (I’m not really sure, he keeps track of those things) and we have the EXACT same issues we did on year 1. BUT. . .the difference is, I’m changing the way I react to them. I’m choosing not to succumb to the madness. Lunacy. Crazy mad quackiness.
All this time, I’ve been thinking it’s HIM.
But really, it’s me.
And I can always change me. Aaaaah. I gotta tell you, it’s a rather refreshing turn of events. You know, this new outlook. . .it came to me in my sleep. It’s where all my good ideas come from. Just like this one.
REUSING MY FRONT PORCH CHRISTMAS TREES AND DECORATING THEM AS THANKSGIVING TREES!
I’ve been trying to come up with cost-effective ways to decorate for Thanksgiving and this popped into my pretty little head 2 nights ago while I was in that very creative state somewhere between being awakeness and sleep.
I stopped by The Dollar Tree and purchased $1 items that would tie into my front door harvest wreath. My total bill $12.
1. Dollar Fall Leaves Garland. 5 Ft. long.
2. Filled the tree in with red berries and gold-glittery berries.
3. My final addition was to add these red wheat/grass looking things. No harvest decoration is complete without wheat/grass/harvest . . .stuff.
And then, at night. . . .they light up. So pretty. Of course, that’s my favorite part. The hint of the Christmas season to come. Totally and completely magical. I may even add two pumpkins I saw at Kroger yesterday, you know, to really add to the magic.