I went to SOMEBODY’S volleyball game tonight.

SOMEBODY came over to me after the game and gave me a side sitting hug.

Totally awkward.

I said to SOMEBODY, “Lean over so I can give you a kiss.”

SOMEBODY said, “Uh. That’s okay.”

I said, “WHAT???”

SOMEBODY repeated, “Yeah. That’s okay.”

So I didn’t say anything and SOMEBODY walked away.

10 minutes later SOMEBODY returned.

“Can I have $2.00 for the concession stand?”, SOMEBODY politely asked.

“That’s okay” I smiled.

“Huh?”

“I SAID, That’s okay.”

“But I really want something to eat.”

“And I REALLY WANTED A KISS.”

Well, said SOMEBODY, “You can give me one now.”

“I don’t want one now, but. . . .if you get up and GIVE ME A KISS. . .maybe I’ll change my mind.”

And SOMEBODY got up and walked away penniless and hungry.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I just think that whole situation is JACKED UP.

REALLY???

I birthed you. Changed your diapers. Give you free EVERYTHING.

But I can’t get a kiss.

Totally Jacked UP.

Just like these teeth.

Rotten Jacked Up.

Tiny ground down jacked up.

Gooey Peanut Buttery sticky blue stuff dripping off of them jacked up.

You feel me, right?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – ————————- – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

JACKED UP MONSTER TEETH: HALLOWEEN APPLE TREATS!!!

Ingredients:

Apple

Orange Juice

Almond Slivers

Red, Green, or Blue Food coloring

White Chocolate Chips &  Milk Chocolate Chips

Peanut Butter

Cracker Jacks

 

Directions:

 

1. Get an apple.

 

2.) Cut it into quarters. Remove seeds.

3.) From the skin side, remove a section of the apple, leaving only the “lips”.

4.) Dip into orange juice to prevent browning.

5.) Press almonds into the upper and lower parts of the apple to position teeth.  Also, try spreading peanut butter inside and placing chocolate chips, cracker jacks, or marshmallows to make different funky looking teeth.

Want crazy looking monster teeth? Try dipping the almonds in dye before placing them into the apple!