I hate to break this to you.

But I’m in a real bad mood.

Nothing lately seems to be working out.

We tried to sell our other house (not the one we currently live in). . .and that fell through.

That sucked big.

Not the house.

The situation.

I’m so ready to be rid of that thing.

And my husband is finalizing the plans for his 20 year high school reunion. . .

its this weekend.

He’s planning the ENTIRE thing BY HIMSELF.

So you can imagine. . .

my life is a horror.

Oh.

And my kid. My 12 year old kid. . .

is gone.

At her Aunties. My sisters. My mom is there too.

For one whole week.

They are feeding her brownies and buying her designer jeans and Starbucks.

I’m missing her terribly.

I’m crying everyday about it.

When she left me I yelled, “Be good! I love you! You’re my baby! NO! Seriously you’re the first baby I ever had and I love you so much that I can’t breadth! I’ll miss you every second that your away!”

Then I hugged her for like 49 seconds and gave her a wet snotty kiss.

She was visibly mortified.

I feel like a housewife.

With stupid chores of laundry, vacuuming, and cleaning the damn toilet.

And at this very moment.

I HATE IT.

Because I’m feeling like a servant.

And I don’t want to be a servant.

And . . .

I want to tell my husband that I’m lost.

But I’m afraid he won’t understand, and he’ll try and find me.

So there you have it.

My struggles as of late in a nutshell.

No real end in sight.

Kinda like my laundry.

I hope I find a way to deal with it.

– – – – – – – – – – – ———————————————–

I thought being a grown up was going to be. . . .

better than this.

Like, I thought I’d be able to have more fun.

And make decisions for myself.

Create!

And Invent!

But it seems like a whole lot of doing other things that everyone else wants me to do.

And worrying about what other people think of me.

And I’m tired of all that.

I just want to be.

So that’s what I’m trying to do right now.

I’m trying to make decisions and not worry about what people will think of me.

And I’m trying to live in the VERY CENTER of myself.

That place that is peaceful.

And knowing.

And understands the mission we are all on. . . .while we are here. . . .

on earth.

I’m thinking I might need to make a list to prioritize things in my life.

But I’ll leave that for tomorrow.

Today… .

I’m going to eat my favorite salad.

Because I know that should be a priority.

I’m going to surround myself with good things.

And the good will continue to come.

First, let me say. This salad is only spicy if. ..you use Spicy Chicken. If making the salad for myself, I choose a spicier chicken like General Tso’s Chicken, but on this day . .. I was making it for my kids so. . .I used Lemon Chicken. The salad is made easy by using pre-made frozen sauced chicken that you buy in the freezer section at the grocery. One day I’ll show you how to make Pei Wei Spicy Chicken from scratch. . .but today. . .I’m too tired:/. 

Mixed Lettuce Leaves

2 Cucumbers 

2 Tomatoes

Green Onions, to taste

Carrots, handfull 

Cilantro (handful)

Frozen Prepared Asian Chicken (sauce should be included in the package)

Prepared Lime Vinegrette ( I like Newman’s Own)

1. Get you lettuce leaves and stick them in a bowl. Set aside.

2. Gather Cilantro, tomatoes, carrots, green onion, and cucumbers. Chop into bite size pieces. Place in a medium container with a top! This makes it better for storing leftovers in the fridge. It prevents the leaves from getting soggy:)

3. Prepare the chicken according to package directions.

5. Assemble salad. Lettuce on bottom. Chopped vegetable mixture on top. Ladle chicken with sauce on top of that. Drizzle with Lime dressing. Devour:)