[Giveaway Winner Announced Below]
I wouldn’t call it bribery.
More like enticement.
or INCENTIVE. not insensitive. which it may have also been, but no need to start name calling.
Or let’s just call it remuneration because nobody knows what that means.
It’s July already and Middle School starts in 8 weeks. You know Middle School. Junior High. Intermediate. Whatevs. The stuff of pimples, nudey jokes, and constant embarrassment. Shelbi is going to Middle School in exactly 35 days, and just 7 days ago we finally figured out where that place might be.
I won’t get into the long drawn out details of the situation, but basically we want said child to go to one school, and she wants to go to another.
We spoke to her reasonably about the situation.
“Please child. Please. Listen to your extremely knowledgeable mother and father, and go to the school we want you to go to.”
We yelled at her about the situation.
“YOU WILL GO, AND YOU WILL BE HAPPY ABOUT IT.”
Child: NO I WON’T. NO I WON’T.
We called in reinforcements.
Grandparent A: Well honestly, I don’t blame her. I wouldn’t want to go there either.
Grandparent B: Just tell her SHE HAS TO GO. You’re the parent. You’re in charge.
Grandparent C: Huh. What did you say?
We were at our whits end. One minute she was our happy kid, the next thing you know she’s reverting back to toddler type tantrums, vowing to clutch onto our ankles into infinity if we make her go to this horrid, horrid, school.
What to do? What to do?
Compounding the problem, is my own particular emotional baggage. I hated my Middle School. All 3 of them. Maybe it was only two. But it felt like 3, and I hated them. There was this kid who liked to smell my hair in the lunch line every freaking day. He was cute, but still. And then there was PE, and showers, and boogers and science experiments of which I can not even gather the courage of which to speak.
At the first school I cried everyday for 7 months. Maybe it was only 7 days. I’m not sure because I was crying constantly. All I remember is my mother fretting over it, while yelling at me to ‘stop crying and deal’ because this was my life.
I couldn’t change schools because my dad was in the military. We couldn’t just move. So I cried.
I was at that awkward stage in life.
And I didn’t know anyone.
And I hated my life, because my parents ruled it.
That’s what it felt like anyway.
I just keep thinking. . . . .that must be how Shelbi feels. And it totally sucks.
So. . . . . .
bribed remunerated her.
We told her:
We hear you. We love you, and we want you to be happy. Soooooo, you don’t have to go to School A. BUT, if you don’t want to go, you must first write us a 1 page single spaced paper detailing all the reasons why you don’t want to go. And they must be real reasons, not just because it “sucks”. Then, you must present your paper to both of us. And if you still don’t want to go, you don’t have to. And we won’t say anything else about it.
And by the way.
If you go to the other school that we really want you to go to we’ll get you a cell phone because the hours are different and we feel really bad and we think you’ll love us more and also if you just go and try it out, you’ll get that cell phone that you really like and you won’t even have to stay at that school. Just try it out! Just try it out! I promise we won’t make you stay if you don’t like it. Its just that there are so many opportunities there and you are so smart and you’ll do really well. Just trust us, it’ll be fine, and take this cell phone as a peace offering.
She told us:
Are you seriously trying to bribe me?
We told her:
Then in a shocking turn of events.
She said she’d go. She said she try it out.
If texting and the lastest version of her phone were included.
Who would have guessed. Remuneration works.
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Well peeps. Two points for Team Mom and Dad.
You know we’ll do anything for the love of our children.
No matter what moral dilemmas may have to be tackled.
Just this week, Little Feebs had her 3rd Birthday Party.
I made her Chocolate Malt Ice Cream to go along with her Half Chocolate/ Half Vanilla fresh strawberry filled Dora Princess Cake.
But enough about the cake.
It’s the Ice Cream that I want to talk to you about.
It wasn’t just ordinary Chocolate Malt Ice Cream.
Inside was hidden goodness of Goats Milk Kefir.
Now if I told her Goats milk is a superfood, and that its easily digestible, that it is loaded with calcium and vitamin A ( more than what you find in cow’s milk) AND it has all sorts of qualities that make it beneficial for people with stomach problems. . . .do you think she would have cared?
No. In fact, I dare to say she may have refused to eat it.
So I decided that there is absolutely nothing wrong with upping the anty of the birthday ice cream and making it nutritious, and super healthy.
Getting her to eat it. . . .
and then telling her it is good for her.
And in fact, she didn’t even eat that way too expensive Dora Princess Birthday Cake.
But she DID eat EVERY BIT of her Chocolate Malt Ice Cream made with Goat’s Milk Kefir.
And she loved it.
And I loved it.
And I’m a deceptive, cunning mommy.
And i don’t care.
I’m telling you I’m on a streak. A streak I tell you! I’m throwing traditional moral compasses out the window!!!
Naa. Just kidding.
But I am in to tricking my kids lately.
Tricked out kids. Sounds fun.
Like this Giveaway.
A Redwood Hill Farm Insulated tote bag FILLED!!! with wholesome products from “Dairy’s Dynamic Duo” — Redwood Hill Farm & Green Valley Organics — AND a t-shirt!
FOR YOU. Because I love you and because I feel like I’ve been neglecting you lately.
I want to give you this.
Because it’s sooooo good for you. And I only want the best for you. And once you open it and taste it, you’ll be like “MAN, THIS STUFF IS WONDERFUL! Nicki Woo was right! She is is the bizzy bomb! She’s right about EVERYTHING! Somebody quick! Tell her kids!”
Just answer the following question in the Comments section of this post:
“What was something good you did this week for someone else?” I want to know all the juicy details.
One entry per person, please. I’m not trying to change the world with goodness. That’s another blog.
The Redwood Hill Farm GIVEAWAY will end July 19th, 2012 at midnight CST. Winners will be announced on Friday, July 20th, 2012. Entrants limited to US and Canada. They will be chosen randomly using http://www.random.org/
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And the winner is. . . . . . . .
My neighbor went into labor and no one was home with her so I stayed with her even went and stayed at the hospital til her family got there
Please contact [email protected] in the next 48 hours to claim your prize or another winner will be selected.
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And now here’s the recipe. . . . . .
Chocolate Malt Ice Cream
- 1 1/3 c sugar
- 1 c unsweetened cocoa (look for high quality Dutch Cocoa powder)
- 1 c boiling water
- 1 c malt powder
- 6 c Redwood Hill Farm Goat Milk Kefir
Combine first three ingredients in a bowl; stir well with a whisk. Add malt powder, stirring until dissolved. Stir in kefir. Cover and chill. Pour mixture into the freezer can of an ice cream maker; freeze according to manufacturer’s instructions.
Disclaimer: All opinions are my own. I was not paid to review this product. I was given some really good Redwood Hill Farm Kefir and yogurt and I ate it all. Scratch that. My children with black hole stomachs ate it all. PS- I hope you win and I hope you get to your yogurt and eat it before somebody else in your household does.