I hate snakes.

No, no. Really. I HATE SNAKES.
I know that hate is a really strong word, but trust this. Snakes bite. And wiggle. And seem as if they should be slimy when in fact are very soft and warm which is quite deceptive if you ask me. Nope. I don’t trust them one bit. You shouldn’t either.

About 7 years ago, when Shelbi was 3, we were living in Dallas and a snake slithered into our house. It was black, thin as a pencil, and about 7 inches long. IT WAS HORRIFYING.   It freaked the mess out of me. I threw a bouncy ball at it, while it laughed in my face. My three year old child was forced to keep an eye on it while taking care of me cowering in the corner until Mr. Woo made it home to kill it. Or put it outside. Or take it to a homeless shelter. Whatever one does with snakes.

In that very same house, during Halloween, Mr. Woo found a snake living under a bushel of hay on our front porch right next to my prized scarecrow. I threw the Scarecrow away because he was harboring a fugitive.

And yet again, on another chilly October night, in that very same house my mother saw a large beast of a snake perched in the tree next to my driveway waiting to eat me and my kids as she happily drove away. Mr. Woo was out of town so I called 9-1-1, and they laughed in my face. They told me to call animal control. Homeboy couldn’t find the snake. He said he probably jumped on the roof and was hiding out in my chimney. Probably. I think I hate that man too.

So, you understand right?
I really don’t like snakes. 
Which is why my front door is now covered with them.
Because duh. If you invite them, and decorate with them, and pretend like you like them, they will stay very, very, very, far away.

Right?
Right?
Anybody?

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I’m off to conquer my fears. While instilling a little fear into the lives of others.

Creepy. Wiggly. Black and Gray snakes adorn my door.
The perfect welcome for the trick or treater who prefers the trick.

Happy Haunting.

How to Make A Snake Wreath
Choose any size wreath you like. But in my opinion, bigger is always better. And one more thing. If horrible wreaths are not your cup of tea during this Autumnal season, check out my pal’s pretty Fall Ruffled Wreath @ http://www.clumsycrafter.com/

What You Need:

Warped  Wreath made from Tree Limbs ( Purchased mine from Hobby Lobby Reg. Price $4.99 )
10 or more Black and Grey Play Snakes (50 cents at Walmart in the Toy Section)
Glue Gun, optional

What To Do:

1.Hang the wreath on the door and begin winding the snakes in and out of the limbs. Have some winding around, others hanging down, and some posed to strike.  The limbs hold the snakes pretty snug, but for added security hot glue into place.

2. Hang on your front door!