I’m mad at him.

A few days ago we woke up in our bed, I looked at him and smiled. He leaned over and kissed me.  I said, “Wait, is the door locked?”  And he quickly looked up at the door, which is easily 20 feet away, at the teeny tiny little knob and said, “Yeah, it’s locked.”

Reason #1: He has good eyesight, and mine is going to crap as we speak.

Exhibit A: New glasses.

Yesterday I woke up, looked over at him, and smiled. He leaned over and kissed me. I said, “I need your help with something,” and went on tell him about some drama I have somehow found myself mixed up in. He tells me not to worry, and  he leans over to kiss me.  And I grab my iPhone, just to check my email once more. He gets pissed, hops up and gets dressed in 2 minutes flat, and speeds off to work without saying good-bye.

Reason #2: He has a lot of nerve getting mad at me and making me feel guilty for putting my email before him.

2 hours later, he shows up for the babies 2 year doctor appointment. Unannounced. And I want to jump in the car and hug his neck so hard that it explodes. 

I’m so happy, I can’t control myself. He smiles at me, and I say “I love you.”  And he smiles back, and says “I love you too.”  And we don’t talk about how mad he was this morning, we just telepathically tell each other to forget it.

Reason #3: I think I was mad at him, before he was mad at me, and now I’m not even mad any more, just happy he’s not mad at me for no good reason.

This morning, I was mad at him because last night he spent too much time manicuring the yard.  And then he watched TV in our bedroom rather than let me control the remote control.  So. . . .this morning, guess what. . . .I was mad.

I was brushing my teeth over the sink, when he comes up behind me and puts his head on my shoulder. He thinks he’s so smooth.  “Wherrtt?” I mumble.

Warwick:   What’s wrong?
Me:  You’re mean!
Warwick:   No, I’m not.
Me:   Yes you are!
Warwick:   Is that new toothpaste you’re using?
Me:   Stop trying to change the subject.
Warwick:   I’m serious. Is it?
Me:   No.
Warwick:   Can I taste it and see?
Me:   Do you promise never to be mean again?
Warwick:  Yes.
Me:   Ever, as in FOREVER?
Warwick:   Yes.
Me:   Okay, you can taste it.

And he kissed me.

Reason #5: I can’t even remember why I was mad. But I know it was for a good reason.

And finally, 3 minutes ago he just ran into the hallway and told me he forgot to put out the recycle bin with the trash.  He’s looking at me like he wants me to do something about it.

“Well don’t look at me, my hair is standing up all over my head. I’m not going outside to do it.”

“Well, I can’t do it, I’m in my underwear.” He chides.

And he walks away. Away from the recyclables. And I walk to it. And I walk outside to the curb with my hair perpendicular to my head.

Reason #6: My next door neighbor drove by approximately 2 inches from my perpendicular hair, and waved good morning.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

This very well could be his mother’s fault.
I could blame her.  I really should blame her.
Except for the fact that I was listening to talk radio the other day, and the guest speaker who wrote a book about Wife/Mother-in-Law relationships said something like this. . . .

Mother-In-Laws are much more than just that. They are wives.  They are mother’s.  They are friends. They are lovers.  Mother in laws have been in our shoes. But we have never been in theirs.

And I got an epiphany. HE DID THIS TO HER TOO.  Poor woman.  It is all his fault.

So, I speedily grabbed the vat full of figs that she handed me the other day.

And I was off to make her some Fig Jam.  In the Microwave.
Because I instantly felt sorry for her.
But I didn’t have a lot of time to do it.

Homemade Lower Sugar Fig Jam and Canning it In the Microwave J
This jam is made with a lot more pulp, and a lot less sugar than traditional recipes.  It works because the No-Sugar Needed pectin combined with the lemon juice help the whole thing come together. The jam is thick just like I like, with huge chunks of fruit. And still quite sweet if you ask me.

Part of the technique comes from a book Preserving with a Microwave, published in 1991 by Sterling Publishing. The author cooks her pulp in the microwave, which I find more cumbersome than the traditional stove top method. So, I skip that bit. But, I do think it is entirely wonderful that you can find a way to re-use old pickle jars, or jam jars, and can quickly make and can jam without needing all the tools and gadgets which I find costly and burdensome.

And no, your microwave won’t explode when you put the metal lids inside. I thought the very same thing. I’ve done this a hundred times, and never have I seen a spark.

Ingredients:

8 cups figs
1/2 cup water
1/4 cup lemon juice
4 1/2 cups sugar
1 box of No Sugar Needed Fruit Pectin

Directions:

2. Remove the stems and tough bottoms from the figs.

3. Place figs in a large heavy bottomed pot. Add water, lemon juice, 1/2 cup sugar and 1 box pectin (made for less or no sugar needed recipes).

When the jars start to cool, you may hear a “pop!”, this is the jar sealing. If not, make sure that the lids are slightly concave, showing that a vacuum seal has been obtained.

6. Store in a cool, dark place.

*Watch the jars. If you see that the jam is beginning to boil, remove the jars from the microwave sooner, and place lids on top. If the jam should bubble over, remove lid, clean lid and rim, and repeat process. The boiled over jam could prevent a good seal, which could result in condensation and cause mold.