I said, I’m sorry.
I’ve said ‘I’m sorry’ before but its always been followed with, ‘because’, ‘but’, or any array of throw up words.
Never.
NEVER have I just said “I’m sorry.” And then stopped.
I rang my husband on the phone.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Him: Hello. Warwick Speaking.
Me: I’m sorry.
Him: I accept your apology.
And then, we hung up. He still loved me. And I still loved me. And I was accepting of my ‘self conscious – screaming – afraid to be the little woman – barefoot homemaker mom lady’ who is a little unbalanced so she says rude horrible things to the people she loves.
At least I’m conscious of it.
I’m aware, right?
That’s half the battle.
5 hours earlier.
He called me.
At 7:30 am.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Me: Hello?
Him: Hey there Sweetie!
Me: What?
Him: Hey! Did you ever send Missy that text about Bella’s softball uniform?
Me: Nooooo . . .. Did you?
Him: I asked you to do it.
Me: AND I TOLD YOU. . .that if you started the project, YOU finish it.
Him: But I don’t have a cell phone.
Me: I’M NOT YOUR SECRETARY! DO IT YOURSELF.
Click.Click.
He hung up on me.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –
Oh Sweet Jesus.
What have I learned from this situation?
1.) I need to get a grip.
2.) Saying sorry is enough. No explanations needed. . .if you really mean it.
3.) I think Yoga is helping. It’s helping me be MORE aware of myself and okay with myself. Accepting of me, as I am. I am aware of the crazy, neurotic, yelly person. I will accept her and try to tame her the mess down.
4.) Love is a powerful thing. I think he had already forgiven me before I ever even uttered “I’m sorry.”
I’ve got a lot of work to do.
On myself.
And in my house.
I think I will be more balanced spiritually, when the things that surround me are more as they appear in my head.
Lately, I’ve been getting visions of all sorts of decorating and organizing ideas that I can’t wait to implement into my house.
But I’m trying to breathe through it.
One task at a time.
Enjoying the moment I’m in.
Not trying to rush onto the next thing without fully enjoying the task I am currently undertaking.
The goal is to enjoy the journey.
Of making my home cozier.
More functional.
That’s really why I haven’t been blogging much about food lately.
I’m just trying to center myself.
And right now, my center has me focusing on the hearth.
Today, since its Earth week I’m finding new uses for things I already have around the house.
Like this.
Please excuse them.
It’s a bit of a mess.
I’m hanging the rod, right behind their bedroom door.
I borrowed these rings from Phoebe.
When she was a baby, they were used to hold her toys onto her stroller.
Then I just hooked the purses on. . . .
And look!
They’re door still closes!
And it’s organized! No More purses all over the place!
And there is a Halloween pumpkin on the door!
And it’s April!
Oh joy.
Another angle.
Without the pumpkin.
What good organizing tips are you using to keep your home in order?
