Lately, I’ve been feeling like my canvas is blank.

I have so many ideas in my head, that I just can’t STOP and focus.
It started with summer, and my schedule changing because the kids were home and I couldn’t figure out how to juggle it all.

So I just stopped doing everything and anything that pertained to me.

Which was a very bad idea.
I stopped working out.
I stopped writing.
I stopped drinking water.

Which lead to a. . . .
kidney infection
a torn meniscus with posterolateral injury or something
massive headaches
and something else I just can’t remember. . .
oh yeah. . .
memory loss.

But I think that’s only because I don’t listen.

Anyway, I need to to focus.
Which is what I think I said my problem was in the first place.

Uuuugggghhhh.
FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS.

So I just wanted you to know I’m trying.
And that I’m making a committment to myself to blog ATLEAST 3 times a week.
And I’m trying not to be so hard on myself if the house isn’t perfect (clean).
And if I’m not at every single activity that my kids do.

Because I really want to find that happy place, where everyone in my family is at peace, including me.

So as we enter the Fall (which not un-coincidentally my favorite season), I am going to throw my head back, look up at the sky and breathe in deep.

And follow my breath.
Smiling.
Hugging my husband.
Tickling my children.
AND crafting. AND cooking. AND living. AND loving.

I can remember to do that.
I will remember to do that.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

This a present that I started working on for my husband. Our Anniversary is in a few weeks.

Yesterday he found it.
And when I realized he had wandered into my secret hiding placing I screamed, “WAAAIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!!!!”

But it was too late.
He emerged from the said location with a smile on his face, and said, “Yeeeesssssss????” with a slithery slur.

He was upstairs looking down. I was downstairs looking up.

Me: Did you see it?

Him: See what?

Me: You did see it! You weren’t supposed to see it!

Him: I didn’t see anything.*eyes shifting and looking side to side* What? Do you mean that thing under the plastic? I didn’t see anything!!!

And then I started crying. Seriously. Hard. All over the Lemon-Couscous Chicken I was making.

Because the thing I’m making was NOT UNDER a plastic sheet. It was ON TOP of a plastic sheet, so he obviously saw it. And I know it was stupid to cry. But I did. Because, well, I’m on my period.

So he came downstairs and gave me a kiss on my cheek and asked me not to cry.
So I stopped.
And I thought I love that fool.
I love him for pretending he didn’t see it.
I love him for asking me to stop crying.
I love him for kissing me on my lips.

I think I made the right decision to marry him.

PS – I’ll post the final project when its done. But he reads my blog. And he’ll know if I post the finished product now. And then I’ll cry. And then he’ll be late to work. And I’ll be late to drop Phoebe off to Pre School. So, it’ll have to wait.