Yesterday. My, oh my. Yesterday.

It was a doozy.

I went to a kick your hiney abdominal, legs, arms, crazy lady class at the gym. I figured out that I don’t know what a ‘plank’ is, but more importantly, I CAN’T DO ONE. I need to figure out what do when I’m in an exercise class and I discover that I have no abdominal muscles and my arms don’t work. Hint: Don’t cry.

Also. . .against my better judgement, I went to Spin Class. And I spun. But, and as warned, it did feel slightly like I had a rod up my rear, but I ate ice cream as a reward afterward, so everything was gravy, baby.

Then, I went to the grocery store, and they didn’t have any Kale.
BUT. . . . . . I only had to give Phoebe two lollipops to behave.

I came home, put the munchkin to bed, and cleaned up dog pee 2 times. Once off the carpet and once in my bathroom and once, off of my foot. Scratch that. I cleaned up pee THREE times.

Next, because I reeked,  I took a shower. Washed my hair, and made it smooth and slick.



I put on real clothes (those that do not contain elastic AND do not contain holes) and pre-made my kids their after school snack.

I ate my lunch. Tortilla Crusted Tilapia and Green Leafy Salad with Peanut Butter – Honey Dressing.

2 minutes later, Soledad burst threw the front door, home from school. “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!  I need my snack quick! I have softball today. It’s my first practice ever and I’m going to be GREAT! So I need a healthy snack and some water.”  And then I wept from pride.

We all got dressed went to softball practice, where Soledad proceeded to act a damn fool and not listen to a word anybody including the coach said. Warwick was mortified. I was normal.

I left softball practice early to bring Shelbi to the District Science Fair Awards Ceremony. She won 2nd place at her school for her project entitled Puppy Poopy. See above. She measured the different effects of different grades of dog food on the dogs energy put out, ie. dog poop. The more he pooped after eating a certain dog food, the less of the food he was able to use for energy.

As Shelbi and I were rushing in the Auditorium doors to save seats, I looked down and noticed what she was wearing. TO. AN. AWARDS. CEREMONY.

Jean Shorts. Dingy.
Flip Flops. Speedo.
Striped Shirt. Nice. Abercrombie.
And a hoodie. Total chilax.

My heart dropped. I looked her dead in the eye and completely FREAKED OUT. I whisper yelled,  “What in the world do you have on? Oh my goodness. Why in the world would you wear flip flops in the middle of winter to an awards ceremony? And shorts??? Don’t even get me started. You look like a total frump-chump. YES, that is a thing. And I don’t care that you don’t care. SERIOUSLY. I’m so angry I could puke! Who cares if you don’t care what you look like, I DO. AND SO DOES MY MOTHER . MY poor mother would be mortified! Do you know what Nana would think??? This is horrible. And what if they call your name???? And you walk up on the stage looking like this? What will people think? They’ll think I’m a horrible mother, that’s what! And they’ll be right! Oh. my. goodness. Because I never looked at you before we walked out the door. I’m such a horrible mother. AND NOW THE ENTIRE SCHOOL DISTRICT IS GOING TO KNOW.  Thanks for that.”

She lowered her eyes. And we went to sit down.
And I wanted to throw up for yelling at her. Horrible mother indeed.

I leaned over and told her I was sorry 20 times, but she just pursed her lips and gave me the side glance.

So since she wasn’t talking to me, I took an incognito picture of her toes.
Aren’t they pretty? Mondrian inspired. She is a very talented nail painter.

We arrived home.

Cleaned up broken tea bags off the floor that the dog chewed up.
Ate frozen yogurt sandwiches.
Yelled at each other because we were all so cranky, and went to bed.

The end.

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I say all of that, to let you know. . . .I’m tired.

My brain hurts.
My thighs hurt.
And I have a headache.

Yesterday was a HARD day.
And the highlight was the Peanut Honey Dressing that I had for lunch and dinner atop my greens. It comes from a new cookbook entitled Edible Brooklyn, The Cookbook edited by Rachel Wharton. (Hardcover, over 100 recipes and color photos)

It’s all about how Brooklyn Lives. Cooks. And Eats.

Showcasing the profiles of Brooklyn’s Culinary Community, and sharing the traditions, and experiences of the lives of the Foodies of Brooklyn.

I wonder if they yell at their kids while making Backyard Egg Tacos.
OR  attend softball tournaments with Pickled Herring as a snack.
I’m thinking no work-out is complete unless you’re coming home to Oven-Roasted Salsa Verde.

In any case, 3 out of 4 of my children LOVED the Salad with the Peanut Honey Dressing. So according to my calculations, there is a 75% chance you are going to love it too.
It makes it not matter that you can’t lift up your arms.
Or that your daughter is a total grunge type dresser.
It makes your children remember to love you even if you are a crazy person.
Its powerful stuff.

Now. Just to make myself feel better from my lackluster performance of a human being yesterday, I’m giving away one copy of  Edible Brooklyn, The Cookbook.

So that maybe if you have a crap day, you can make one of these recipes and turn your frown upside down.

Peace Out Peeps. Much Love.

HERE’S HOW TO ENTER:

Just answer the following question in the Comments section of this post:

“What food can make your frown turn upside down? Does it effect the way you cook. eat. live?”

THE RULES

One entry per person, please. I’ll eat everything you type, so give a sister a break.

The Edible Brooklyn: The Cookbook GIVEAWAY will end February 1, 2012 at midnight CST. Winners will be announced on Thursday, February 2nd, 2012. Entrants limited to US and Canada. They will be chosen randomly using http://www.random.org/

Good Luck!

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Update: And the Winner is. . . . . . .

Brittany – contact [email protected] in the next 48 hours to claim your prize!

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Now here’s the recipe . . . . .

Raw Kale Salad with Peanut Honey Dressing
Reprinted from Edible Brooklyn: The Cookbook © 2011 by Edible Brooklyn. Permission from Sterling Epicure, an imprint of Sterling Publishing Co., Inc. 

This salad is going to knock your socks off. And that is a good thing.

Serves 4.

Ingredients:

1 LARGE BUNCH OF KALE (ABOUT 12-15 STALKS), WASHED AND CUT INTO 1/4-INCH STRIPS
JUICE FROM 3 LEMONS (ABOUT 5 TBSP)
1/4 CUP WHITE WINE VINEGAR
1/4 CUP EXTRA VIRGIN OLIVE OIL
2 TBSP HONEY
2 TBSP NATURAL SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER (NO SUGAR ADDED)
1/4 CUP SESAME SEEDS
SALT
FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER

1. Place the kale in a large glass or stainless steel bowl, pour the lemon juice and vinegar over it, and toss well. Let sit for 3 minutes to tenderize the greens.

2. In a medium bowl, whisk the olive oil, honey, and peanut butter to combine. Pour over the kale, using a spatula to scrape down the sides of the bowl if needed.

3. Sprinkle with the sesame seeds and salt and pepper to taste. Mix well.