Dear Self,

Get some cojones. Or maybe just borrow your husbands.

Throw on your tight spandex workout pants (the ones with the neon hot pink around the waist) and your body glove tank top and walk your scary little toosh into the Spin Class and OWN IT.

Will you look like an idiot? Maybe.
Will you not know what the heck your doing? Probably.

But like we heard in that movie trailer that one time for that movie we don’t remember the name for, that was advertising to teenagers. . . .If you are scared to do something, that is probably a sign to DO IT. Rock on.

Who cares if when you lean over your stomach is a little rumply.
Who cares that due to a recent hair cut your hair looks like a hot mess when wet and plastered to your forehead.  THIS IS NOT A FASHION CONTEST. Plus, your husband loves you and doesn’t care if look like a giant unborn fetus that has been swimming laps in an Olympic pool. HE THINKS YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL ALL THE TIME. Or at least, that is what he tells you, and really, that is all that matters.

So go.
Spin. Don’t be scared. If you fall off the bike, get back on again. Just try not to pay attention to all the people who are laughing at you.

Love,

Me.

PS- Not to be long winded but I have two more quick little side notes to make.
1.) When calling a friend to complain about “non ball having self” do not ask if they are busy if you do not care what the answer is. Also, please refrain from asking them 20 questions when they have said they are busy, lest you have friends no longer.

2.) Do not be surprised that you have gained 3 pounds when you are supposed to be on a diet when you eat Pasta for dinner adorned with oven roasted garlic, sun dried tomatoes, succulent artichoke and lots and lots of olive oil. Food like that makes your rump shake, which is very alarming on an unborn fetus look-alike.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Originally I planned on having this smoothie for breakfast as a healthy reward for going to Spin Class.
But I didn’t go.

I tried.  I did.
I scoped it out.
But all these crazy spinning chics were saving seats, and everyone came in all self assured and bicycle knowledge like, and I got scared.

I didn’t even walk into the room.
I just stood outside and stalked the place.
I have issues.

Maybe tomorrow.
My girlfriend promises to hold my hand.

In the meantime, I’m drinking this smoothie anyway, because I completely kicked my butt on the elliptical for being such a pansy.

Coffee Protein Smoothie with a bit of banana thrown in. Fo-Shizzle.
Inspired by Female Fat loss Over Forty

Can I just say this smoothie is Fo’ shizzle, my nizzle. With 176 calories and 20 grams of protein, this Smoothie is Dope. As in Good. Great. EXCELLENT! Not as in crack cocaine. Just thought I would clarify.

Serves 2. Or one hungry me.

Ingredients:

1 cup Soy milk (you can use any type of milk you like)
6 oz. vanilla fat free Greek Yogurt
1/4 tsp cinnamon
Dash of Nutmeg
1 TB Instant Coffee
1 cup of Ice
1 scoop Vanilla Protein Whey Powder
*2 TB of your fave sweetner, optional  (choose something that dissolves easily, ie Splenda, honey, Agave, etc)

Directions:

1. Slap it in a blender. Blend. Pour it your glass.  Say something crass. Drink it up fast.