I miss my husband.

He’s still here, and I’m still here, but I just miss him.
We go to soccer together, softball together, eat dinner, and talk about bills together, but I MISS HIM.

We don’t get to dance as much as we used to. Or just lie around and be lazy. He’s really fun to just lie around and be lazy with. I think our lives are too crazy. I think maybe we have to figure out how to slow down. Watch more TV. Go on more walks. Jump in muddy puddles. Roll down some hills.  I think that’s what we need to do.

We need time to just chill.  You know, just be.

Which is why I think I had this crazy dream about him last night.

We were living is some sort of tenement building. I walked down a long narrow corridor to our apartment. All the while, music was whispering in my ears. KEM – Why Would You Stay was playing  in the background (actually it was playing on our alarm clock at 4:30 am at unheard of decibels because my husband likes to set the alarm 10 hours before he is actually going to get up, but I digress).

http://youtu.be/iK0pgd0k5js

Anyway, it was nice. Really nice. The waves of the music went deep down into my chest, filled my head, and swam throughout me. So much so, that when I opened the door to the apartment all I wanted to do was dance, and hold on to Warwick and tell him I love him. So I opened the front door, and walked in. And there he was standing, looking completely handsome IRONING. Back and forth, pushing the iron while he stood behind the ironing board dressed in nothing but a humongous diaper. Disposable. Not Cloth. Anyway, the diaper was a pretty tight, and put on crazily, but I kept thinking boy, I need to reposition that thing before he wets all over the carpet. But first, I want to dance to this song playing in our sparsely furnished apartment with no apparent speakers. Carpet be damned.

So I say, “Wanna dance?”  And he’s says yes.  I find my position right under his armpit where I fit like a puzzle piece, and nuzzle my head into his shoulder. And he smells like soap. And his skin is soft like down. I and love this feeling that I’m having. Being so close to him. But suddenly, I’m a little uncomfortable. I notice a bulge between my legs. I look down, and it’s his thigh. His HUGE thigh. And I’m practically sitting on it like a chair. I try and push it over and continue swaying back and forth, but it’s impossible. I want to tell him, his dancing has turned to crap, and why does he keep sticking his gigantic quadriceps between my legs? It’s impossible to dance that way.

But I don’t. Because I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him mad. I just think, being close to him with a giant quadricep wedged between my who-ha, is better than not being close to him at all.
– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

There is no better man for me. THIS I know.
And I am thankful for him, always. Even when life is uncomfortable. Even if he wore diapers.

This Thanksgiving, he’s who I’ll give thanks for first.
He’s who I’ll sit next to at the dinner table, and kiss on the cheek more times than I can count.
We’ll get up at midnight and go Black Friday Shopping together, come home and eat Pumpkin cake, and steal a few moments later in the day to go on a date and watch a movie.

No. There is no better man for me.

My Favorite Pumpkin Cake/Bread (that you could make with your eyes closed – though it’ll be messy) in the Entire Universe
This is moist. This is succulent. This is heaven in a bundt pan. The top is is almost crunchy, like the most delectable muffin top. The inside most, yet weighty and will hold up to a dunk in your favorite cup of hot tea or coffee.

I’ve been making this exact cake since I was thirteen, and I KNOW I’ll never get tired of it. With just the right combination of spices and thick rich canned pumpkin puree, it’s sure to become your favorite too. Add nuts or raisins to suit your taste, but plain is perfect as well.

Ingredients:

3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
3 teaspoons cinnamon
2 cups sugar
1 can (15 oz.) of pureed pumpkin (plain – NO SPICES ADDED) or 2 cups cooked & mashed pumpkin
4 eggs, beaten
1 1/4 cups canola oil
1 cup chopped nuts, optional (I like pecans and walnuts)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 325. Grease and flour a bundt cake pan.
2. In a large bowl, mix dry ingredients together.

3. In a medium sized bowl, stir together pumpkin, eggs and oil until well combined.