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Today I’m putting my ‘mommy’self in my 10 year old’s shoes.
Pondering what it would have been like to be in the middle of a basketball game, with a crew of monkey kins sitting idly by watching.
Wondering how it must have felt when those crazies started acting up.
This story may or may not have happened. However, it is very likely that it did. All participants in the below story, may or may not be monkeys, until they are diagnosed as such by a practicing physician.
All guilty parties shall remain un-named unless I name them, then well, they’ll be named. Let the trial commence.
— x ——
You have to put up with things that normal human beings do not. Like baby sisters who are not yet two, dancing at your basketball game.
But then, said baby sister removes her shoes, and swimming suit cover-up. And your parents let her because well she’s cute, and she will scream if they make her put her clothes on.
Then, while the other two sisters run around acting like monkeys, baby sister takes a turn and runs out onto the basketball court. WHILE YOU ARE PLAYING A GAME.
Do your parents run onto the court and retrieve their little darling?
No. Of course not. That would be the sane thing to do.
My parents on the other hand, are not sane.
So, they stand on the side of the court, father throwing his hands up in air, mother pushing father trying to shove him onto the basketball court, while the two other sisters run onto the court, chasing the hapless monkey baby.
Let me set this scene for you.
There’s a fast break.
My team is on offense, running down the court, just as a 23 month old baby runs onto the perimeter of the basketball court.
2 other little girls run after her.THEY ARE MY OTHER DING DONG SISTERS.
They are all in bathing suits, flip flops, and wet dripping hair.
The baby is running so fast, that nobody can catch her. I think I can hear my dad yelling ‘Don’t chase her!’
The baby rounds the corner of the basketball court, with the 5 year old and 7 year old steadily tromping behind. The 7 year old is supposed to be some kind of stellar athlete. Yeah, right. She looks like an ostrich in a striped dress. Three dumb monkeys all in a row. Running around MY basketball court. Ruining my game, and my life.
So what do I do?
What can I do?
Obviously, my parents are NO help at all, so as the referee blows his whistle so that nobody crashes into my baby sister, I run over and pick her up.
My parents are still arguing on the sidelines.
I hand the little monkey over to my father, who then runs sheepishly off the court.
I turn around, and resume my basketball game.
This is the story of me. And my crazy, dumb sisters.
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Well that about says it. Shelbi’s life to a T.
Well written, I must say, even if I did write it myself.
A sad, sad tale indeed. All true. A story of salt and vinegar.
Maybe that’s why she loves the tang of these chips so. It reminds her of her life, how good it can be, even though you often have to scrunch up your face and pucker your lips just to stand the taste.
Eat up, Baller. Shot Caller. Eat up.
Salt and Vinegar Chips
Adapted from Oh She Glows who adapted it from Martha Stewart, I think.
You might want to call these Vinegar and Salt Chips.
Me thinks there be much more vinegar in these here chips than salts, matey.
But they are yummy. And crispy.
So if you like the store bought crisps, you’ll go coo-coo for these coco puffs.
|PS- The 10 year old made these herself.|
5 large red skinned potatoes, rinsed and cleaned
About 4 cups white vinegar
Olive or Canola Oil
1. Cut potatoes into 1/4 inch thick slices.
2. Place potatoes in a pot, and cover with vinegar. Bring to boil, reduce heat to medium, and boil for 5 minutes longer. Remove from heat and let sit for 30 minutes.
3. Preheat oven to 425 F.Remove potatoes from vinegar, and place on a baking sheet lined with aluminum foil or a silicone baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt. Mix well. Lay each potato round flat on the baking sheet.
4. Bake for 25 minutes or until golden brown. Flip over, and cook for an additional 10 minutes, carefully checking every few minutes to make sure they do not burn.
5. Remove from oven, allow to cool 5 minutes before serving.