~Mixed Berry Smoothie ~

On Children, Human Sexuality, Transvestites, Transsexuals, and Lady Gaga

Sometimes we drive to a certain pizza place in a nearby town, because they run a special for $3.99 large pizzas.

Often on those visits, we encounter a man.
Who is dressed like a woman.
Complete with wig, daisy dukes, and make-up.
Usually high heels too.

I’m sure he’s not just an ugly woman. The Adam’s apple is a dead giveaway. The children too, have noticed. Nothing getting passed their curious eyes.

“Mommy.  Is that a man?”

“Yup.” I reply.

“Why is he dressed like that?”

“Because, I guess he feels more comfortable like that.”


“I don’t really know. Sometimes people feel like they are girls on the inside even though they are boys on the outside. So they wear girly clothes.  Sometimes people feel like boys on the inside, and they are actually boys, but they really like girls clothes, so they wear pretty girly things. But it’s all good. He’s still a person just like you and me. Try not to stare.”

Whenever a dicey topic comes up.  I try and attack it as soon as it arises. The facts as I see them. No more and no less.

Where do babies come from?
God, via mommy’s belly.

How do babies get out?
Through a hole, near mommy’s vagina/potty.

How does God get the baby in mommy’s belly?
Thank God, we haven’t gone there yet.

So this week, when my 10 year old daughter revealed that she wanted to sing “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga for the talent show, I honestly never thought twice about it.

Until my girlfriend asked me, “What do you think about the song the girls have chosen to sing for the talent show?” and I thought, maybe this is one of those times for a sexuality discussion.

Me: Hey Shelbi. What song are you singing for the Talent Show?

Shelbi: “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga.

Me: Oh.  Do you know what that song is about?

Shelbi: Ummmm. I think. Isn’t it about being weird, and being born that way.  And that it’s okay because God made you that way.

Me: Kind of. But I think the bigger part of the song is about being gay.  Do you know what that means?

Redness fills her face. She looks down to her toes and whispers, “When a boy likes another boy.”

Me: Yeah, you’re right. If a boy likes another boy he’s called gay. And if a girl likes another girl, they’re called gay or lesbians. And sometimes, people are treated unfairly and in unkind ways when people find out they’re gay.  Which is why Lady Gaga’s song is so important. Because God made all of us.  And God doesn’t make mistakes.  So every single person is a perfect creation, because he made us all in his image. We should never forget that. We should ALWAYS love and respect one another. No matter what.

Shelbi: Okay.

Me: And I want you to know that I will love you always. Straight, gay, or otherwise. Just know, I love you, and all that matters is that you walk in the light of God. Okay?

Shelbi: Okay.

Update as of 1:49 pm 5/23/11, approximately 7 minutes after this post was first published –
Mr. Woo called. He feels as if I may or may not be “outing” Shelbi.  This, however, is not the case. Though, I do not believe my child to be gay, I was just letting her know that I would love her regardless. The same would go as if she were a liberal or a meteoroligist. She will always find a safe haven in my heart even if her politics are skewed and she can’t accurately forecast the rain.

Thank you. Please resume your regulary scheduled blog reading.
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I know somebody who is so filled with the light of God, that it’s just plain CRAY-ZEE.
My friend Charlene.
Who loves my kids as her own, treats me like a sister and has been the best neighbor in the history of the universe.
You don’t have to tell her to treat everybody with love and respect.
She wrote the book.
She needs to write another book.
A cookbook.
On yummy, easy things to make, because she often shows up at my house with some very tantalizing creations.

Today it was Mixed Berry Smoothies.
Perfect for summer.
Cool and healthy, healthy, healthy.
Charlene says they are supposed to blast away belly fat.
And by the looks of her belly, I think it works.

Mixed Berry Smoothie


1/2 cup milk
1/4 cup yogurt
1 cup frozen berries (your favorite)
1 tsp Peanut Butter
1 TB Vanilla Whey Protein
3 ice cubes
1 TB honey, optional (per me, not Charlene. My berries weren’t very sweet so I added a little honey 🙂


Place all ingredients in the blender. Blend until smooth. Devour.

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