I. AM. GOING. TO. KILL. THAT. CAT!

And by ‘kill’ I mean really, really, make it sneeze.

It’s not as if I’m the best gardener in the world.  Let’s face I’m not even the most mediocre gardener in the world.  I fall somewhere between standard and extraordinarily second-rate.  Though usually, this does not a problem make.  We get enough rain (though we’re in a drought now), we get plenty of sunshine (though with the lack of rain its wilting the plants), and the weather is just temperate enough in the Spring to make a garden run amuck.

Usually.

Unless, you’ve got some cute little calico kitty that is trying to trample the tomatoes. Curtail the cucumber.  Put a panic in the pepper. Zowza the zucchini.

Yes, that’s her.

Fiona.

Don’t let her cuteness fool you.  She is a mess to be had. Living in my bushes. Pooping in my garden. Digging huge holes in my landscape. Pooping in my garden. Pooping in my garden. Using my garden as a litter box. AND. . .pooping in my garden.
And you might be inclined to look at that face, and think, maybe its not her.  She’s so wonderful, and cute, and calico kittyish.

But, I’ve reached my limit, when I found this in my yard.

and this . . . .

The remains of some poor innocent bird tail? wing? head? Ick.

Seriously Fiona.  Do that in your owners yard, or else, STAY IN THE HOUSE.

I’m sorry it’s come to this.  But put your paws in my permeable plants that rein in my perfect purlieu (sorry one of my kids is studying onomatopoeia), and you’ll be sneezing cayenne pepper with that shouty little Chihuahua up the street.

Let this be a warning to all.
I have a Warehouse Sized Container of Cayenne Pepper.
And I’m not afraid to use it.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

Now enough of all that murderous talk.  Onto another little kitty, I mean ditty.

A little something, I picked fresh out of my garden on this beautiful spring day.
Well, the mint anyway.
I bought the strawberries when I picked up the Cayenne Kitty Pepper.

I just tossed it all in a bowl because it made me think of spring.
Sweet Juicy Fruit.
The wonderful wafting smells of freshly cut mint.
And the deep. red, warm, liquidy crimson of . . . . . . .

Strawberries.
I hope you weren’t thinking what I thought you were thinking.
I’m horrible, but not that horrible.

Anyway, go chop up some strawberries with a little mint and cheese, and it’ll help you forget any mangy little rascals you have around your house, that might seriously be trying to mess with your “cool with nature” vibe.

 Fresh Strawberry–Mint Salad

Ingredients:

Strawberries, stems removed and chopped
Mint leaves, coarsely chopped (to taste)
Sugar (or honey)
Feta Cheese crumbles

Directions:

1. In a bowl, mix chopped strawberries with mint. Sprinkle with sugar or drizzle with honey. Mix again, and let sit 10-15 minutes to allow the juice to release. Sprinkle with feta cheese. Enjoy!