I think I’m going bananas. Crazy, flat out nuts. It’s all because of something, or rather something”S” somebody said.
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I picked Shelbi up from a birthday party, and swung by the grocery on the way home to get something for dinner. It was already 4:00 pm, and I was tired, and resenting the fact that I had to make dinner. But I didn’t want fast food, we needed something healthy to eat, and we were having guests, so to the market we went.
Moving swiftly, we flew down the aisles of the grocery, popped back into the car, and I was slicing tomatoes in my kitchen before I knew it.
My husband and a guest, were sitting in the living room watching football. The children were upstairs playing, and I was putting away groceries while trying to make our meal. As I’m putting away the fifth gallon of milk that I’ve bought this week, my husband’s friend turns to me and says, “Hey Nicole. My dad is having something at his house tonight. You might want to go.”
“Oh,” I reply. Knowing darn well, whatever it is, I have no interest.
“Yeah, a group of old ladies from the church are coming to his house. You know, kinda like a Tupperware party. They’re gonna sell some jewelry and clothes. A ladies night out. A lot of old ladies, I thought you’d like to go.”
Okay, there are so many things wrong with this proposition. I don’t even know where to start.
First, my idea of a fun night out is NOT spending it with a bunch of people I don’t know.
Second, I don’t know what could be worse than spending an evening with a bunch of people you don’t know, other then them being described as “old church ladies”. I’m sure they are VERY nice individuals, and it is unfortunate that they are being described in this manner. I mean, I like church. And I like old people. But when I’m old, and I go to church, I’d prefer not to be called “and old church lady.” To many preconceived notions come to mind. So, no thank you, very much. That does not a fun evening make.
Third, as if I had to say it. I DO NOT MAKE IT A PRACTICE TO BUY MY CLOTHING FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S HOUSES.
I silently tell myself to let it go. Let it go. As he continues to mumble on about the old church lady convention.
The phone rings a few times, the guys continue to hoot and holler in the living room cheering for whoever or whatever is going on. Time passes, my nerves calm, and I’m happy because dinner is almost over, and I can finally get out of the kitchen.
And just as I’m giving the Sloppy Joe’s one last stir, guess who strolls into the kitchen, full of compliments.
“Aaahhhh. Yeah. This is just what I need, a wife. Somebody to cook great meals for me . . .while I enjoy life.”
The anger begins to boil, silently daring to destroy anyone in it’s wake. I tell myself to calm down. Don’t say anything rash. He’s a silly little boy. Let it go.
“Well,” I murmur, “I don’t really think it’s the way you think it is.” It takes every bit of control I have not to pick up my skillet and knock the mess out of him.
“Oh, that’s not what I mean,” he blurts out. “You know, the result is not important. It’s the effort you put into it, you know. At least you’re trying.”
Oh no, he didn’t. He actually said something so stupid that no amount of enlightenment is going to keep my thoughts from bursting out of my head, and violently thrashing him around.
“That’s not what you meant? Well, that’s not what I meant!” I glare at him angrily, willing myself not to claw his eyes out. “Make NO mistake, this meal will be perfect. Probably better than any meal you’ve ever had. That is not the point. The point is, YOU. WILL. NEVER. EVER. get a wife with an attitude like that. You know, I don’t just sit around making meals and catering to Warwick so that he can sit on his a** and do a whole bunch of nothing. This is a family, it doesn’t work that way!”
AAAAAHHHHHH!!! Stupid, Idiotic, Big nosed, Misogynist Jerk of a Man!
Lucky for him, he left the house the same way he came into it, not out the window like I would have liked.
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Bananas for me. Nuts for him. Sour Cream because it just makes life better 🙂
Banana Nut Pancakes with Sour Cream
2 c. Bisquick
1 tsp. Baking Powder
1 TB sugar
1 c. sour cream
1/2 c. milk
2 bananas, mashed
3/4 c. pecan pieces
1.) In a large mixing bowl, combine Bisquick, baking powder and sugar. One thoroughly mixed add sour cream, milk, and eggs. Stir ingredients until blended. Fold in bananas and nuts.
2.) Heat a lightly greased non-stick skillet on medium high. Pour batter onto hot skillet. When pancakes begin to dry out around the edges, turn over and cook until light brown. Serve warm.