Today everyone is getting on my nerves, being totally obnoxious and not getting my jokes. Which might mean that I’m not really very funny, which in turn really urks me.

My eldest daughter, Shelbi is trying out for next year’s school play, Alice in Wonderland, and has refused to allow me to help her. She wanted no coaching, no tips, no suggestions, no nothing. I tried to explain to her that Mommy is an excellent actress with a real knack for the dramatic, but she wasn’t trying to hear it.

“Did you know that I went to State in Dramatic Prose?” I said.

“No, but that’s not the same thing. I don’t think you know how to do this.” She spat.

“Well, not that I’m bragging, but when I left the stage, there were NO dry eyes in the room.”

“What are you talking about? Can I go now?”

“What I’m saying is, that everyone was crying, even the judges, because they were so affected by my performance.”

“Well, I don’t want anyone to cry, so I’ll just do this myself”, she said as she walked out the door.

“FINE!” I yelled to no one in particular. On to the next kid.

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“Hey Bella, come here for a second.”

“Yes, mommy?” my sweetness gleamed as she skipped into the room.

“You have a game tonight.”

“Yeh, I know.”

“You guys are going to do great, and have a good time, okay?”

“Okay, but we aren’t going to win.”

“Why would you say that?”

“Because, EVERYONE IS BETTER THAN US, THAT’S JUST THE WAY IT IS.”

“How in the world could everyone be better than you? You guys have only lost a few games. You must ALYWAYS think you’re the best! Just because you lose doesn’t mean others are better. You can’t walk into a game thinking you’re going to lose, or you’ll be defeated before you even play the game. Now let’s change that attitude, and get ready to have some fun. So . . . who’s the best?”

“Ummm. . . .I don’t know.”

“Oh, just forget it. Go play with your sister.”

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Warwick *singing and smiling as he moves through the house*

“Guess whose birthday is Sunday? Mommy’s!” he giggles, as he flutters by and kisses me on the cheek.

Moving swiftly into the living room, he encounters a loud SHRIEK.

It’s Soledad laying prostate on the floor, because yesterday her teacher told her that her birthday was coming up soon, and she wants to skip my birthday in favor of celebrating hers instead.

You’ve taken my time, my money, and my lip gloss. Must you also take my birthday?

The baby just bit my face, and some un-named souls didn’t get my joke, and think that I’m a Bieberhead. It can only go up from here.
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Let’s just start over, and go old school with dinner tonight. Bella could use the carbs for her game, and those other jokers could use a good dose of comfort food.
 
On the menu. . . .
 
Spaghetti with Homemade Marinara Meat Sauce
 
Ingredients:
 
1/4 c. olive oil
4 TB butter
1 large onion, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1 stalk celery, chopped
1 carrot, chopped
2 28oz cans of crushed tomatoes
Handfull of basil leaves
2 dried bay leaves
4TB sugar (more if you like it sweeter)
salt and pepper to taste
Ground turkey, beef, or shrimp
Whole Wheat Spaghetti Noodles, cooked
Parmesan Cheese, optional

Directions:

1. In a large pot melt oil and butter on medium heat.  Add onion and saute until translucent. About 3 minutes.
2. Add the celery and carrot and cook until soft, about 5 minutes longer.
3. Add garlic and cook for one minute.
4. Add tomatoes, basil, bay leaves, and sugar.  Simmer covered, on low for 1 1/2 hours.
5. Meanwhile, in a skillet brown meat. Drain.
6. Add meat to marinara, and check for seasoning.
7. Serve on top of hot noodles.