“I HAVE NEVER worn jeans and a dressy blouse to church on Easter!” I scream-whispered to my eldest daughter Shelbi, in the Macy’s girl’s department dressing room.
“Yes you have. You always do!” she snapped back in quick retort.
“Have you lost your mind? Speaking to me that way. And you WILL try on that dress! And you WILL wear a dress on Easter Sunday! And I DON’T CARE IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!! You’ve lost your privileges to choose! If I like it, I’m getting it. AND I AM NOT A LIAR! I HAVE NEVER WORN JEANS AND A DRESSY BLOUSE TO CHURCH ON EASTER!” I spat out in a rage of delirium. I stared at her just daring her to say. one. more. thing.
And she did.
“but you always do. . . . .” was the phrase she mumbled under her breath, just loud enough to assert her defiance.
Without another word, I stomped out of the fitting room, cursing every customer who dared to look me in the eye. Where is your father, where is your father? So completely ungrateful. After waking up with her tired little butt this morning just to take her shopping for clothes, she acts like this. And to call me a liar to my face.
“Oh, there you are.” I said upon finding my husband in the boys department. Yet we have no boys, so who knows why he was even over there. Probably running away from me.
“Look Warwick, I don’t even know what to tell you. Your daughter has lost her damn mind, and ummmm, I’m through with her, so there you go! Good luck! I’m not dealing with her anymore!” I said as I noticed he was missing two of my other 3 children.
“Where’s Bella and Soledad?” I said, getting more agitated by the minute.
“Ummm, they had to go to the bathroom, but I couldn’t go in ’cause I have Phoebe. So they went in by themselves.”
“Oh, okay. . . . ummm who are those strange ladies walking out of the bathroom with my children?”
“Them? Yeh, well Soledad was having some issues or something, so those nice ladies offered to go in and help. So, I guess they walked them out.”
S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y? What kind of crazy mother am I? Losing my mind, yelling at my kids in department stores, letting random ladies escort my children to the bathroom, I seriously need an intervention.
I could hear Shelbi creeping up behind me holding the dresses in her arms, acting as if she had no idea why I was so mad.
“Look missy. Do you realize that Easter is quite possibly the most sacred day of the year? Don’t answer. Jesus WAS CRUCIFIED, was murdered, carried a hellified cross for miles and miles, forced to wear a crown of thorns, and you don’t want to wear a dress because you don’t like frilly? What if Jesus had said, he doesn’t like thorny, and he doesn’t like murdery, and he really doesn’t feel like dying for your sins? Hmmmmmm. Don’t answer. I’ll tell you what; you’d be going straight down there, ’cause you’ve done a boat load of sinnin’ TODAY!!!!”
And with that, I turned my back, grabbed my two middle children and dragged them out of the store to the car, with Warwick, Phoebe, and Shelbi following behind. I could hear faint whispers between Warwick and Shelbi as they walked, but no one dared to say a word to me.
For the rest of the day, everyone was on there very best behavior afraid that I might crack at any moment. We drove to Target, picked Shelbi out a less expensive dress, without complaint, went home and decompressed.
The next day, Shelbi wanted to know if I was going to take her shopping for shoes. I guess she wasn’t that traumatized. Here we go again.
I Need a DE-Stressor. Seaweed is a known stress reliever, among other things. It provides our bodies with essential vitamins and minerals like magnesium, riboflavin, pantothenic acid and two B vitamins important for helping our bodies produce energy. This is a great lunch, dinner, or snack. It tastes great and will make you feel even better.
To learn more about the health benefits of seaweed, check out this article.
8 x 7″ Seaweed sheets (found in the Asian isle of your supermarket)
Brown Rice, cooked
These are some of my favorite fillings:
1. Lay the seaweed sheet down on a flat surface.
2. Begin layering your burrito by first adding rice, followed by your choice of ingredients. For this burrito, I chose lunch meat, cilantro, carrot, and tomato. Drizzle with soy sauce.
3. First, fold the bottom ends up, then the sides.