My poor kids don’t have any pets.

We had a rat. . . . .
but a tragic ending met its fate.

And then on a whim, I bought 6,000 fish.
Those sadly, have also expired.

Cry me a river.
Or a ocean as you might have it.

Not surprisingly, every creature the Woo Clan crosses paths with is a potential pet. Our doorway is a veritable highway.

We tried to capture a lizard. But accidentally smashed its tail in half.  I took it as a sign, and let him move on in piece, literally.

The girls found a wading pool at the beach, and ‘fished’ until they had a bucket of tiny baby fish. “Can we bring them home?” they begged. Been there, done that. That would be a NO.

This past weekend we were at the beach and Shelbi found a hermit crab. We all became very excited. A shell. That was BIG. A pretty greenish color with brown stripes. Goldmine. AND. . . .it still had the crab inside.  We were  enamored.  Too enamored. She caught me at a weak point.

Shelbi (10):  Can I take it home Mommy? Pllleeeeaaaasssse. I’ll love it and take care of it, and feed it and love it.

Me:  It isn’t going to survive.  It’s home is at the beach. It needs the salt water. The fresh air. It won’t do well in suburbia.

Shelbi: Pleeeaaasssseeeee.

Me: Ask your father.

Father:  Mmmm.  I dunno know. I guess.

And so it was done. Shelbi had a hermit crab in a Dora the Explorer Beach Bucket.

“You better Google “How to take care of a Hermit Crab”. I cautioned.
“You better give it some water, and some food, and some other stuff. . . . .”

And she skipped off all Okey-Doke like.
Until she slumped back 5 days later complaining of a fishy smell.

Shelbi: My closet smells fishy.

Me: Your closet? Why?

Shelbi: I think its the crab.

Me:  Crabs are from the ocean. That might be why.

Shelbi: I don’t think this is normal.

So she went to her room a retrieved the poor DEAD creature.
I smelled it the minute she removed it from her closet, UPSTAIRS.
I was DOWNSTAIRS at the time.
A good 1/2 a house away.
It smelled like you would imagine a smelly Circus Clown’s rear smelling after a 12 hour performance, if you had crawled up it.

I started to convulse. As she walked the creature down the hallway around the corner and down the steps, the smell became harsher. More cruel. More vile.

She arrived with Dora Bucket in hand. And as I was about to pass out from the fumes, I noticed she was holding the crab in her other hand, WITH MY GOOD WHITE HAND TOWELS.

I’m going to kill her.
I think the fumes got to me.
I was so mad.

“Oooohhh. GROSS. You’re making the entire house smell like a sewer. Are those my good towels???? What are you thinking??????? Oh. Yuk. This is fowl! Throw that thing away quick! QUICK! MOVE! DON’T THROW AWAY MY HAND TOWELS!  Oh, just throw away the hand towels!!!!! Don’t throw it in the trash can!!!! Go outside and get rid of it!!!! Don’t just throw it in the garage, take it around back and put it in the BIG TRASH!!  Don’t touch the door knob!!!   WHY DID YOU BRING THAT CREATURE HOME???  Uuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh.”

It was an out of body experience.
I was hovering overhead watching myself act like a lunatic. But I just couldn’t get ME to SHUT UP.

A voice in my head kept telling me, “Stop yelling. It’s just a smell. It’ll go away.” And then I got visions of the time my mom let me have 2 crawfish, and they had babies. Millions. And it smelled. Probably worse than this poor dead crab. And she never once yelled. Not once.  Shame on me.

I know better.
I should be better.
I will be better.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – –  – – –  – – – 

Does it make up for things that I let her decorate this cake?
AND, I let her have two slices.

Do you think when she’s older, she’ll have a phobia of fancy white hand towels and crabs?

I wonder if the crab would have liked this Carrot Cake?
Google said they eat everything humans eat.

Well. . . .on my quest to be a better person, I made this cake and let my little girls help me.
Baby steps, right.

We made the cake for my wonderful Mother-In Law for her 60th Birthday.
She’s a great person, fantastic mom, and great Grammi.

Old–Fashioned Carrot Cake

Ingredients:

2 cups sugar
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon salt
3 eggs, beaten
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 tsp. whiskey
1 cup crushed pineapple, undrained
2 cups carrots, grated
1 cup walnut pieces

For The Frosting:

8 oz. Cream Cheese
1/4 cup butter, softened (1/2 of a stick)
1 1lb. powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla

Directions:

1. In a large bowl, add dry ingredients. Stir to combine.
2. Add remaining ingredients, in order. Stir well to combine.

3. Pour batter into 2 greased 9-inch pans. Bake for 40-45 minutes at 350 F or until a cake tester comes out clean.
4. Place cake on a cooling rack, and cool. Remove from pan.
5. Make the frosting: Using a hand-held blender, mix sugar, cream cheese, butter and vanilla until smooth.
6. Frost cake with Cream Cheese Icing. Serve.