There is a bright side to everything. I’m sure of it.

For instance, money. It’s great. Wish I had more of it. But, if I were rolling in it all the time, then I wouldn’t have found myself at the meat counter drooling over Prime-Rib roasts at Christmas.  I would have just picked up that $70 slab of meat, pinched my mother on the cheek, and told her “cheerio, let’s go kill us a cow.”

But instead, we just sat at the meat counter repeating, “What do you think we should get? What’s on sale? Look at that lady over there. What’s that she has in her basket? How do you imagine your supposed to cook that? Why is the butcher ignorning us? I don’t think he’s ignoring us, I think he is tired of answering our questions. Let’s just get this one, it looks like it will at least feed us all without me having to take out a loan.”

And that my friends, is the beauty of having money, but needing more.

It affords the opportunity to try things that you may have otherwise skipped over, and prevents you from wasting money on things that are much too expensive anyway.

Now.

As I feel I am rambling on, the true moral of this ‘not so much a story’ but a cautionary tale is. . . .

OH MY LORD, EYE OF ROUND ROASTS ARE THE BOMB. THEY TASTE SOOOOO GOOD. And cost so little. AND YOU CAN TOTALLY COOK THEM TO TASTE LIKE PRIME RIB BUT ONLY YOU DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT DURN BONE AND THE MEAT CUTS LIKE BUTTER.

NEVER BUY A PRIME RIB ROAST AGAIN. I TELL YOU! NEEEVVVVEEERRRR!

Seriously. I wouldn’t lie about big hunks of meat.

A prime rib roast on sale is going to run. . .eehhh. . .$12.00 a pound ON A GOOD DAY, and you’re going to need a lot of pounds because of that big a** bone and because you want leftovers.

On the other hand. . .

An Eye of Round Roast cost me TOTAL $18 bucks (it wasn’t on sale, and it had no bone) for 4 pounds. AND we had leftovers. Enough for 7 people and then some.

So my lovelies.

I don’t even know what to tell you. Or how to convince you that if you make this roast. You will die and go to heaven. You will thank your lucky stars. You will rejoice for the moment you ever laid that juicy piece of succulent meat into your grocery cart. You will not fear that it is a little red.

A little bloody.

You will trust me, that it is indeed cooked.

And that the cow will not moo.

And that the meat is warm because as I said you just cooked it, and not because you just killed it.

And trust this other little bit of interesting information that may convince you to conjure up this recipe for yourself. . .WARWICK likes all his meat WELL DONE. With fire still attached. And he ate every morsel. Yelled at the girls that they were eating too much, because he wanted leftovers.

Now.

If that’s not a sound endorsement. I don’t know what is.

(and because I have a hard time wrapping things up, I’ll have you know this was the only thing my 4-year-old ate at Christmas dinner. She probably ate a pound all by herself. )

The Most Perfectly Succulent Eye of Round Roast (that tastes like Prime Rib, only better)

I really think one of the keys to this roast is covering this bad boy in salt and letting it marinate for 18-24 hours before you cook it. It helps to flavor the meat to ridiculously glorious levels and the salt also helps to break down this tougher cut, insuring SUCCULENCE that would drive any meat lover mad with love.

Ingredients:

Boneless eye round roast (about 4 pounds)

4 tsp kosher salt 

2 tsp canola oil plus 1 tablespoon

2 tsp ground black pepper

Directions:

1. Cover roast evenly with salt. Rub into the skin and all around. If your roast is larger, use more salt. This step is crucial. This will help to break down the meat, insuring its ‘melt in your mouthiness’. Toss the roast into a Ziploc bag or if it’s too big, wrap it in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 18-24 hours. The longer the better.

2. Take the roast out of the refrigerator, place it in a shallow roasting pan. Allow to sit at room temperature for 30 minutes. Meanwhile, position your oven rack into the middle of the oven and preheat to 225 degrees.

3. In a large skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of canola oil over medium high heat. While the oil is getting hot, drizzle the roast with 2 tsp of canola oil and season with pepper. Using tongs, place your roast into the skillet and sear on all sides (until brown and glistening), about 4 minutes per side for a total of 16 minutes.   Return the roast to the shallow roasting pan.

4. Cook the roast in the 225 degree oven until an instant read thermometer inserted into the center of the roast registers 115 degrees for medium rare (about 1.5 hours)  OR  125 degrees for medium (about 2 hours).

5. Turn off the oven, BUT LEAVE THE ROAST INSIDE for another 50 minutes longer (for a medium roast – 30 minutes for rare). At the end of the 50 minutes, allow to rest for 20 minutes. Transfer to a carving board and slice thinly against the grain (crosswise), and serve.

*** My roast was 3.92 pounds. Cooking times may vary. Though. . .you could certainly cook your roast longer, to 2.25 hours but remember though the meat will be cooked more, this cut of meat will turn chewy if you cook it too high, too long, and without the benefit of the salt break down.  I also chose an ALL NATURAL cut of beef, organic, not extra funny stuff. I’m sure I could taste the difference in the meat. . . . .and to be fair and honest. . .i didn’t use a meat thermometer. I just trusted my gut.. . .and followed the time rules. . .and didn’t open the oven door ONE TIME. . .because I didn’t want to let the heat out. If you don’t have a meat thermometer, you can gently poke the meat with you finger and tell how done it is.

***PS- Please let your meat rest. DO NOT cut it immediately after you remove it from the oven. LET IT REST. Allow all the juices to set up properly. It will be worth the wait. Because if you don’t, when you cut into it. . .the juice will flow everywhere and your house will look like a crime scene. No one wants this.