I wonder if it’s a sin to revel in the fact that you’re selfish.

Probably.

Which makes what I’m going to have to say, worse.  If that’s possible.
My birthday is May 16th, and I don’t want to spend it at my kids Softball Party, eating pizza.
I don’t want to spend it at my other kids Field Day, watching her run around in the hot, hot, sun.
I don’t want to go to any sport practice.
I don’t want to cook anybody ANYTHING to eat.
And I don’t want to pretend like there’s nothing I’d rather do than sniff my kids butts rears all day.
I know I’m not supposed to say that.
My mother will be ticked. She taught me better than that.
But I said it anyway.
Now. . .you can hate me.

I just want to do what in the heck I WANT TO DO. AND I want the Woo clan to do it with me. AND I WANT THE WOO’S TO BE HAPPY THEY’RE DOING IT.
Warwick says I have to do those things.  And be that kind of mom.
He says that’s part of being an adult.

What does he know anyway? Who made him the ruler of adult rules and guidelines?

“Nicole,” he says.  “Bella really needs to go to that pizza party.  She’s a part of a team. And she made a commitment.”

Please. She’s 7. She made a commitment to come for the snacks. Oh, crap. Wonder if pizza counts as a snack.

“Well what about field day? I really want to see Shelbi compete. But all day? Come on. That would suck.” I say in my ‘bad mommy’ way.

“We don’t have to stay all day. Maybe just an hour or so.” he says in his ‘good daddy’ way.

“Okay, but then can we go to Ikea?”

“Yes. Then we can go to Ikea.”

“And maybe Jason’s Deli?”

“Mmmm. I don’t know. Maybe we should go someplace closer. And save on gas.” Yes. yes.  I think I may have pushed the purveyor of all things adult and obligatory too far.  3 miles out of the way would be very irresponsible. I better just take what I can get.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –   – – – –

Too be fair, and completely honest, I do want to go to field day. I really do enjoy it.
I just don’t want to be there ALL the live long day. Because it’s hot and boring.
And I don’t want to volunteer to help. NOT on my birthday people!
And I don’t want to have to run to the store to buy the kids Popsicles because they look so sad, hot, and pathetic.
And truthfully, I love pizza.
But not on my birthday.
And not with 12 other 6 year old girls, who are cute, but not as cute as a medium rare steak, that is NOT accompanied by flashing lights, a big scary rat, and air hockey.

I have spoken my truth. And I feel better for it.
Hate me for my brassness and for my keen ability to always put my selfish ways first.
But love me for my recipes, and my ability to make your bad habits look good, or at least better than mine.

Oh and my sick sense of humor. Love me for that too.
Dry as it is.  Just like this Muesli.
But unabashedly good.

My Muesli Mix
I love me some Muesli. I really love to say it. “Muesli, muesli, muesli, muesli.” Makes me feel important. Like I’m the purveyor of all things nutritious and completely delicious. Which is much better than being the purveyor of adult rules and obligations. Poor Warwick. It’s not his fault. I blame his mother.

Ingredients:

3 cups rolled oats
2 cups bran (oat or wheat)
1 cup nuts or seeds (or any combination thereof, I usually go for unsalted walnuts, sunflower seeds, and pumpkin seeds)
1 cup dried fruit (bite size pieces)

1. In a large bowl, add oats and bran. Stir to combine. Add nuts, seeds, and dried fruit. Stir again. Store in an airtight container, it will keep for months. But I doubt you’ll have it that long!

I love it in my yogurt, but it also tastes great like this. Which i think is the more traditional way to eat it.

Muesli Morning Meal
You make this the night before, though I’m not usually that organized and it tastes great the day of too, but it’s just not as creamy. You can make multiple servings at a time and store in the refrigerator, and eat off it all week long.
Serves one.

1 cup Muesli
Enough Milk to cover
1/2 an apple, cut and diced or grated
1/2 banana, mashed or cut into small pieces
Honey, to taste

1. In a bowl combine milk and muesli. Add apple and stir in to stop the apple from discolouring. Cover. Refrigerate over night.
2. In the morning (or 2 minutes later if you’re a procrastinator like me) remove the thickened porridge (don’t you like my fancy word) from the fridge and stir in the banana. Drizzle with honey. Tastes lovely as it or mixed with a scoop of yogurt and topped with berries. Let me know how you like it!