Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzels

I was lying in the bed, totally beat. The day was long, the children were bad (well THEY weren’t bad, they just did VERY BAD things), and the house looked liked a Tsunami just hit, minutes after a tornado blew over.

I was still in my holey t-shirt and basketball shorts that I had worn all day. Maybe even the previous day, and quite possibly the day before that. My hair was ratty, my head throbbed, and I was really, really, tired.

In walks Mr. Woo, bright eyed and bushy tailed, after a long extended day at work.

Mr Woo: Hey there! (he leans over and gives me a kiss)

Staring at him with my tired-red eyes, I wince slightly, and try to pull out a slight smirk, which I think ends up looking like a grimace.

Mr. Woo: Whatcha doing?

Me: Uh.

He looks a bit worried now. Though he’s still smiling, his lips are turned down a bit, and clearly he’s looking for some sign of life.  I give him no such relief. I just contort my body in such a way that I am completely lying around a load of laundry that is piled in the middle of our bed.

He moves closer, cautiously. He sits on the recliner that is positioned next to our bed, which incidentally also has a pile of laundry resting on it.

Mr. Woo: Have you eaten? Do you want something to eat?

Me: Nuh-uh.

So now, he’s pulling for straws. She declined food? He’s thinking. Something is really wrong. So in an act of shear lunacy, or some might say bravery, he asks, “Do you want to have a laundry folding and hanging up Marathon?!!!###!!!!”

I think maybe he’s lost his damn mind. Or maybe I have. Let’s see, I think. Today I’ve already had a . . . . .

“Yelling at my kids” Marathon
“Sweeping the Floor” Marathon
“Wiping the Table” Marathon
“Pulling out my Hair” Marathon
“Looking for the smelly object in the Truck” Marathon
“Wiping snotty noises” Marathon
“Telling my nine year old to stop raising her voice at me” Marathon
“Screaming ‘NOOOOOOO’ Marathon

So, you know what, I think I’m good.

Me: No, thank you.

And I close my eyes and go to sleep. When I wake up, the clothes are gone, and it looks like Mr. Woo ran that marathon himself.

– – – – –  – – – –  – – – – – – – – – – – –  – – – – – –  – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

He’s sweet (like sugar), nobody’s denying that.

He’s spicy (like cinnamon), and really quite good for me.

But boy, sometimes his brain can be twisted.  I don’t think anybody, ever WANTS to have a laundry folding marathon. Except him, and maybe Martha Stewart.

I love him anyway.

And your going to love these Cinnamon Sugar Pretzels. So soft. And sweet. And easy. Like Mr. Woo.

He’s not soft. But you know what I’m saying.

Here’s how to make a Mr. Woo Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzel.

Pour flour and yeasty water  into your bowl. . . .

and mix it up real good. You can definitely use all white flour, I just always use a combo of 1/2 white 1/2 wheat  to make myself feel better when I eat 50% more.

Knead it until it’s totally mellowed out. Smooth and elastic-like.

Roll it into long ropes about 1/2 inch thick, and dip into a baking soda water bath.

Shape and place onto your greased or Silpat lined baking sheet.

 My children would like you to know you can shape them any way you like.  I would like you to know, no you can’t, if your baking with me.

Cook, and then brush with butter. ooooh. yum.

Dip in sugar and cinnamon, and devour. Heaven on earth. (detailed instructions below).

Cinnamon Sugar Soft Wheat Pretzels

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cup warm water
1 1/8 teaspoon active dry yeast
2 tablespoons sugar plus more for dusting the pretzels (about 1 cup)
1 1/8 teaspoon salt
2 cups white flour
2 cups wheat flour
2 cups Warm water
2 tablespoons baking soda
4 tablespoons butter, melted
Cinnamon

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 450.
2. In a small bowl, pour 1 1/2 cups of warm water.  Sprinkle yeast, 2 TB sugar, and salt on water.  Stir to dissolve. Add flour and knead about 8 minutes, or until dough is smooth and elastic.
3. Place dough in a greased medium sized bowl, and let rise for at least 1 hour.
4. While the dough is rising, make a water bath for the pretzels by adding baking soda to 2 cups of warm water. Stir to dissolve.
4. Once the dough has risen, divide into 12 separate balls.  Each ball should be rolled out onto a floured surface into a thin long rope (to about a 1/2 inch thickness).
5. Dip each pretzel into the baking soda bath, let excess liquid drip off, and place onto a greased baking sheet or Silpat.
6. Allow pretzels to rise another 15 minutes (covered) before placing them in the oven. Cook for 10 minutes or until golden brown.
7. While the pretzels are rising, fill a shallow bowl with cinnamon and sugar.
8. After the pretzels have cooked, and are cool enough to handle brush with melted butter, and dip into the bowl filled with cinnamon and sugar. Eat em’ up!!!