Severed Finger Doorbell

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I must tell you something.

Today, actually tonight, I’m sitting in a hotel room at 2:16 am.

Warwick and I are celebrating our 14th anniversary. Actually, its next week, but today is the day that my mom and his mom can watch the kids, so we are pretending its today. But that’s not important, that is not what I want to tell you.

What I really want to say is the guy who is currently lying next to me, right now. . .the one who is snorting every 5 or so minutes. . .yes, that guy. . .he REALLY loves me. And I know it . . . BECAUSE. . . . I NEVER brush my hair in the morning, and it ALWAYS looks like a rats nest, and he ALWAYS tells me I’m beautiful and kisses me while he is proclaiming this blatant lie.

I can yell, scream, threaten and become a full fledged WHACKADOO, and he never even flinches.. . .

I tell you all of this because, sometimes. . .often times. . .I do things that he would rather me not do. . .but I don’t really care. . .because I’m creative.

I need the outlet.

Like Glue. I’ll put it on anything to see if it’ll stick.

This makes him, very nervous.

So, I’ve stopped telling him.

Like with this.

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Isn’t it clever?

Isn’t it creative?

How is that stuck on your doorbell? You might ask.

With glue! I might answer.

Nuh. Uh. You most probably would reply.

To which. . .I might say, “Although I can’t be SURE, I’m pretty sure it’ll come off easily. But just don’t tell Warwick, because there is no use upsetting him when I’m just going to do it again tomorrow, and honestly its not like he’d get a divorce or anything.  Let’s let him rest. He’s gonna need it for the rest of his life.

SEVERED FINGER DOOR BELL!!!

What YOU Need:

Severed Plastic Fingers (bought mine at the Dollar Tree)

Natural Skin Colored Nail Polish (Get Iridescent if you believe that mystical creatures have sparkly skin – – -buy that at the dollar store too!)

Nail Polish for ‘severed finger’ nail

Glue gun

1. Go get you some severed finger body parts.

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2. Remove said body parts from the bag. Choose a finger of your choice.

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3. Take a good look at these fingers and please tell me that you recognize that THEY DO NOT LOOK REAL IN THE LEAST BIT.  Way too much blood. Too pinkish. Who ever heard of a witch, warlock, vampire, or otherwise with that crazy colored pepto bismal pink skin. Grab some polish. Let’s take care of this mess.

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4. My ‘severed finger’ is going with  a nice shade of coffee and cream with opalescent undertones. Nothing says Crazy Witch Skin, like pearly undertones.

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5. Paint. paint. Paint. Don’t worry, it dries very quickly.

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Look! Now, it’s so obvious which witch is real!!!!!

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Now. This is just between you and me. I do this all the time. . .but don’t tell Warwick. . .just put a tiny dab of hot glue onto the back of the finger and gently place it onto your doorbell. Hold it still for 20  seconds to make sure it sticks. The key here is light pressure. Not too much glue. Just a dab will do ya.

Done! In 31 days when you want to get it off, just gently place your fingernail in between the bell and your severed finger and gently pull it off. Clean as a whistle! Hopefully:/

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