Giant Spider Egg: With things you already have around the house.

  I clean my front door maybe twice a year. ALWAYS at Halloween. This year when I was scrubbing away, I noticed tiny little baby cotton ball type things in the cracks, near the glass. I reach over and begin to wipe them off, and about 20 tiny little spiders popped out. Creeped me the mess out. Ick. I called Warwick and the realtor to put the house up for sale. And then. . . .I came to my senses, killed all of the baby spiders and started dreaming about what a wonderful misfortune Read more […]

Fast & Easy Halloween Decor: Broomstick Front Door “Wreath”

  We’re walking to the bus stop and the three of them notice all the really great Halloween decorations that have popped up in the neighborhood over the last few days. Wooden ghosts. Sparkling Pumpkins. Ghouling trinkets hanging from the trees. When we get to the bus stop, brown eyes look up at me, “Mommy. Maybe today you can spend the day surprising us. Go home and put up our Halloween decorations, and when we get home, we’ll be so excited.” “Well, it’s not actually a Read more […]

Orange You Glad it’s Halloween Breakfast Yogurt Drink (with Orange, Banana, and Raspberry)

  This is how I know my infatuation with Halloween is not normal. I have just planned what my children will eat for breakfast 28 days from now. It’s the attention to details that really call attention to the fact that I have lost my mind. Never mind that I didn’t feed them breakfast today. Which isn’t really true, I did feed them breakfast. . . . . at 12 noon. But that was because I needed to go to the store to buy orange juice concentrate to make this to see if they’d like it well Read more […]

Dollar Store Craft: Jack O’ Lantern Lamp and Crawling Spider Lampshade

Bella: Mommy. Me: Yes. Bella: What are you doing? Me: Halloween Decorations. Bella: Oh. Jack O’Lanterns? Me: Yes. Bella: Are they going to light up? In different colors? And twinkle? And sparkle? Me: No. Bella: No? Well then what are they going to do? Me: Nothing. Bella: Oh. (Silence) I guess that’s good enough. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – YOU ARE DARN TOOT’IN’ THAT’S GOOD ENOUGH. That’s brilliant, actually. A lamp that lights up with a light bulb. But wait! Oh Read more […]

12 Fun Halloween Decorations For Your Yard. . .that you can do in a day.

  I’m busy working over here. PLEASE EXCUSE ME if my absolute favorite holiday is arriving in EXACTLY 31 days and I have yet to get started on the fright. I won’t be gabbing in your ear so much today, because I’m busy working out the details on how to scare my kids senseless. Not the kind of scary where eyeballs pop out of my head. I’m classier than that. The type of scary that keeps you constantly looking over your shoulder.. . and seeing strange lights. . . and Read more […]

Tangerine Chicken Salad, I LOVE RAMEN Cookbook Giveaway, plus 2 reasons why its okay to be lazy.

WINNER ANNOUNCED BELOW IN RED – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Probably a non-lazy person would not try to convince you that laziness is a virtue. And by now you’ve concurred that a lazy person is talking to you right now. While others might hold their hands down in shame, I hold my head high, my shoulders square looking at you. . . .dead in the eye. . . . . This is who I am . . . .and it has given me all that I have.. . .. A husband who prints 3 copies of directions for Read more […]

Thrift Shop Makeover. . .From dated 70’s to Classic Chic: Spray Paint and 5 minute DIY Lampshade Ornament

“So. Are we on the same page?” He said, smiling. Reassuring me. “Yes. Which is the same page we’ve been on for the last 15 years. Your page.” I just sat there with a blank look on my face wanting to scream at him to “LISTEN!” but it wouldn’t have been any use. He can’t hear me when he thinks he’s being brilliant. “WE are on the same page. But only. . .I don’t want to be on that page anymore.. . .” And then all hell broke loose. Because I turned the page. I turned like 20 pages, and found Read more […]

Soft Serve Blueberry Ice Cream: In my blender of course.

  He’s getting older. I can see it more and more clearly as years pass by. He calls me pretty lady, bordering on all the time now. Hey, “Pretty Lady.”  “What’s up pretty lady?” “Can I have a kiss pretty lady?” He sounds like some creepy dirty old man with an aluminum tin can in his hand, jingling it around for change. And he listens to old man jive music, frequently. The kind that comes on the radio in old sleepy towns with only AM reception. And he does this like Read more […]

Blueberry Dream Smoothie

    Everyday when I put Phoebe (5) on the bus, she gives me a kiss and whispers, “I don’t want to got to school.” It quite literally breaks my heart for 3 seconds, and then she hops up the bus stairs and waves good-bye to me like she’s going to the circus. I don’t get it. But I do hate it. I think maybe she’s just a drama queen like a few of her sisters. Today I said, “Hey. . .let’s say. . .I CAN’T WAIT TILL I SEE YOU WHEN I GET HOME!. . . .and give each other kisses, okay?” And Read more […]

Fast and Easy No-Crust Quiche. . . .with Spinach, Ham, and Colby Jack or however you like.

 I am not my mother. It is such a travesty. I am tired. She never was. She is beautiful, well-groomed without reproach. I forgot to comb my hair and take a shower yesterday. She did crafts with me, always made yummy dinners, and made everything in my world special. I speak in a loud voice and say “no!” much too often. Right now, I’m living my life trying to reach for her standards. I’m not there. You can ask my children if you need verification. Monday was my mothers birthday and Read more […]