Mexican Lasagna and A Child who Shutters at the Sight of Me. (Plus! A GIVEAWAY!!!)

(Winner announced below)Camera at the ready.My hand cupped the lens. My eye peering through the view finder, searching. Searching.Where is she?I let the camera strap rest around my neck as the camera dangles and I look for her.There she is.Green and white striped shirt. Her back to me. Walking away . . . . down the corridor. Walking away from me.”Shelbi!” I yelled.She turned around and looked at me, but only for a second.Quickly, she swung her head back around and weaving herself into the massive Read more […]

Dark Chocolate M&M Trail Mix and Knock Down, Drag Down Fights.

{Enter the Good Housekeeping Cookie Lover’s Cookbook Giveaway!}I could hear her feet as they hit the ground.Their bareness slapped the tile floor as they stomped toward my room.She stopped in the doorway.She was too angry to entirely enter a space that was completely ours.”I hate her! And all the stupid noises she makes! She’s just sitting there grunting and slopping up her food. In her stupid annoying way.””Excuse me. You had better watch how you speak about other members of the family.” I spoke Read more […]

Monogrammed (Personalized) Fabric Covered Pin Board & Crafts She Saw on Pinterest

{Enter the Good Housekeeping Cookie Lover’s Cookbook Giveaway!}I walked into my daughters room and was blinded by the mad chaos of it all.Clothes strewn about.Dirty Clothes.Clean Clothes that I had just washed.Clothes that I’ve never seen before in my life.And as I hyperventilated, I reminded myself that I loved this child.That she, in fact is a child, and not some evil alien sent to earth to live in my house and make it impossible for me to have it clean. Ever.Breathe.Breathe.Breathe.Remember how Read more […]

Corn with Mayo, Paprika, and Parmesan Cheese & Kids who are blinding themselves senselessly!

My friends.I’d like to tell you a story.A Christmas Story.A story about love, patience, and a yelling screaming lady.Oh.And a blind kid. Around these parts (my house) when dusk hits, the lights go out (we turn down all the lights, except for the holiday lights and walk around a semi-dark house with twinkling Christmas colors). On a perfect day, homework will be done, and I will turn off the Christmas music (that plays non-stop) and turn ON the television. To something that has to do with Christmas. Read more […]

Honeycrisp Apples Taste Like Yum. And roadkill tastes like ick.

Early morning. The clouds are low. The sky is a hazy steel gray. 7:34 am. I’m driving Shelbi to school. She’s 12 now. She proudly sits in the passenger seat of the car, head tilted back on the head rest, staring out into the the fields as we drive by them. Shelbi: I think there is some road kill out here. Me: Oh yeah. Shelbi: Yup. Down this street. Wonder if we can find it. Armadillo, I think. And so we continue on down the street. Both peering out the window to see if we see Read more […]

Halloween Costume: Peacock Massacre

 Pre-teens are weierd.My 11 year old pre-teen is weird.I’m weird too.But not quite as weird as her.Which, honestly.Has me slightly envious.Because, I love the weird.The misunderstanding that lurks behind the mysterious.The strange sense of curiosity of the the completely ridiculous.Yes.I love all things eccentric.And I love that kid.Ghastly grotesque,she tickles me with her Halloween fantasies.When she was younger, she would wet her whistle on the traditional. Princess attire, green faced witch Read more […]

Halloween Couple Costume: Super Heroine and Evil Villian/ Cat Burglar

In a world infested with evil.Where crime had run amok………………Two individuals were left to fight to the finish.Of the same family.Once best friends,Now, bitter enemies.yet. . . .still. in. love.Friday, October 19th. 6:30 am.Me: Hey. I told Sam we would come by their Halloween Party tonight.Warwick:  Okay.Me:  That means we need costumes.Warwick: Okay.Me: That means we have to decide on something.Warwick: Okay.Me: Together!Warwick: Hmmmm. What do you got?Me: Well, I’m not sure if you’ll Read more […]

Bedroom Makeover on a Budget

I was a bit of a witch with a ‘b’ yesterday.I screamed and hollered about not being able to do IT ALL.I think I may have thrown the top to the blender across the kitchen. Or that could have been the day before yesterday, but I definetly threw it.I witched and moaned about football being on the television ALL THE TIME.And then I watched two games in a row because I was too lazy to get up and change the channel.After giving Warwick a glaring look, a huff, and an exhausted roll of my shoulders he Read more […]

The Easiest Way to Hang A Collection of Pictures

Dear Warwick,I know you don’t think I listen to you.  And you might be a little right.  It isn’t that I don’t want to listen to you. I DO. I really do. It’s just that so many things are going on at every second of the day that I don’t really focus all that well. I’m trying, though. I promise.And even though I’m not the world’s best listener, and you find yourself repeating the same thing over and over again, I do HEAR you, which may or may not be the same thing as listening to you.So. . .on this Read more […]

10 Things to Make and Do for YOUR YARD this Halloween!!!!

I don’t like it when other people talk sternly to my children. I don’t like it when other people reprimand, scold, or otherwise act as if they are in charge of my children. When another person (that is not myself, my husband, or my mother) raises their voice to any one of my offspring, my chest pops out, grows muscles (in a feminine way) and turns a grotesque shade of green. A guttural growl overtakes my breathing. My eyes become slightly inset, and a darkness hovers. And. . . .. I want Read more […]