To Whom It May Concern,
Please stop keeping me up at night. It is 2:08 am, and I am not asleep because of you. No, it’s not because Bella woke me up with a bloody noise, it is because of YOU.
Please do not interrupt me. I must get this out so that I am able to go back to sleep.
While it may appear to you that I love children (because I have four of them), that is only a partial truth. I am truly, madly, deeply in love with MY children. I cannot imagine my life without them. This is why no matter what their mood, or my disposition, I would always rather be with them than without.
Your children, on the other hand, I would rather be without. Did you hear me? I have four children already, I don’t need anymore. It isn’t that I feel your children aren’t lovely, it’s just that if I wanted more children, I’d spawn them, because well. . . .I’m good at it.
I know, you’re thinking, I’m a stay at home mom and I have nothing better to do than watch your kids while I do menial housework. But, I’ve got news for you, I DON”T DO HOUSEWORK. But, you say, it’s probably easier with your kids at my house, because then my children will be occupied, and they won’t bother me as much. NEWSFLASH: My children will always be bothering me, and NOW so will your children!
I hate to break it to you, but your kids are no bag of Jolly Ranchers, and they are always hungry for snacks, that I do not have. Your children do not like Raisins. Your children do not like peanut butter. Your children do not like anything that I have in my house, yet they are constantly nagging me for something to eat. So I end up spending half the day searching for a stale Ritz Cracker that they MIGHT cram into their mouth. And that’s your job, and I don’t want to help you with it, not even on occasion.
I’m sorry. I know all if this is sudden, and sounds a bit harsh, but I just needed to let you know so that you can find other arrangements for your little darlings. Please refrain from bringing them over to my house for me to babysit under the guise of a playdate, or I might be forced to grow a back bone, and slam the door in your face.
P.S. I know that sounds harsh. Don’t be mad. I wouldn’t really slam the door in your face. Probably just close it gingerly after offering you a drink. . . . . and allowing your children to stay and play. Ufffff.
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I’m trying to get all the junk I have in my closets (literally and figuratively) out, and all cleaned up. I have too many things that I’ve been holding onto, that no longer add value, and are just crowding up my life. Originally, I thought I’d clean out our coat closet, but then I looked at it, and thought, baby steps.
So I woke up this morning, and tackled the job of 1 of our 4 junk drawers in the kitchen. Yes, we have four. Don’t judge.
Anyway, this is what it looked like at 6:00 am.
And this is what it looks like now.
Better, much better. It’s our condiment, coupon, grocery ad drawer. Everytime someone goes into it, they can never find the condiment they are looking for and just make the scattered mess even worse. So, to solve the problem, I did what I used to do as kid when I had no money but wanted to organize (weird childhood hobby, i know). I grabbed some duct tape, scissors, and the top of a pizza box (the unused portion), cut it up to make dividers and voila – an organized drawer, perfectlyly sized compartments and all for free.
Now it’s junk free, onto the rest of my life.